Ever heard about an ugly girl been selected as the cheerleader?

Let's have a look at these two people.

The Hill's Heidi was a cute girl but decided to go for plastic surgery.

High School Musical franchise star, Zac Efron's nose is nicer now.

And now, think about what's the reason for them to go for plastic surgery?

"

The only reason is physical attractiveness stereotype.

As societies become increasingly mobile, sophisticated and urbanized, first impressions are important. Attractiveness probably affects our first impressions. Thus, in effect, attractive people do impress people at the first glance. Despite feeling jealous of others being more physically attractive, people tend to prefer to work with, be friends with, hang out with, and look at beautiful people. Physical-attractiveness stereotyping happens across the globe. Think about Snow White and Cinderella fairy-tale stories. Snow White and Cinderella are beautiful, kind, honest, and intelligent. Even children learn the stereotype at the early age. Therefore, in their perception, only good and beautiful people could become princesses. The witch, the stepmother and the stepsisters are ugly, wicked, and evil - they possessed bad traits. For one study they showed pictures of different kids to a group of children, ages 4 to 6. Each child from that group was asked to choose who they’d like to be friends with based on those photos. Surprisingly or not, everyone picked the good looking, slim kids opposite to chubby and/or not so handsome peers. So how does it work, how do we become so prejudiced to the looks of people from such a young age? Why is it so common to think that more attractive people are more successful, happier, or self-confident? On the other hand, why do some perceive people with good looks to be less intelligent, more obnoxious, or less loyal?

Attractiveness is a very subjective matter. While attractiveness is the people of any given place and time find attractive, physical-attractiveness stereotype is the presumption that physically attractive people possess socially desirable traits. Simply said, people tend to presume that attractive people possess good behavior.

Although many may deny it, attractiveness and grooming affect first impressions in job interviews. Attractive people with the required qualification would have greater chance to be selected than average-looking people with the same qualification. This could help explain why attractive people have more prestigious jobs and make more money than their average-looking counterparts. In addition, people tend to think that attractive people could get away with anything. They could get anything they wanted in a whim. With this, the newest tendency that is extremely scary is the fact that the distinct perception of beauty in different cultures is slowly but surely disappearing into thin air. An increasing number of Asian Americans are going for eyelid surgery. The corrective nose surgery and botox treatments are becoming one of the most common and fastest growing types of plastic surgery for both genders. Also, with the promotion of thinness as the “ideal female form.” So many teenage girls and women are being brainwashed that you have to be thin to be beautiful, or you look so beautiful now that you’re tens of pounds lighter than before.

My point is does Beauty save the world? I truly hope so. There ought to be something that will save our civilization from going to hell. However it’s not going to be our fixation with Beauty as it is now. We must learn to see the beauty in every human’s soul, the beauty of nature, and all those things that surround us. We must see beauty in us before seeing it in others instead of go for plastic surgery and change our look.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

DJ on Scouting: ~Knots of Life

“Our relationship is on the line” does that sound familiar to you? The truth is, our relationship with people has always been on the line. And the thickness of the line doesn’t increase, and that’s what makes it so precious to us. That is what drives us to take delicate care on the line. But there is one thing that slips out of people’s mind. That is, no matter what line is it, it is always tied with a knot. Whether or not the relationship fruits, solely depends on how tight the knot is. If it’s loose, it will just slip off and there you have a line that’s lifeless.

You see, the knot represents effort. Why? It’s because you need to put in a certain amount of effort in order to produce the knot. And due to the fact that knot makes ties strings together, it show that there’s energy. The tighter the knot is, the warmer the relationship. And relationship varies from person to person, it is reverence when directed to parents; companionship when flows towards friends; passion when it is felt towards the partner; respect when it moves towards elders; kindness when drawn towards children.

Soft Tender Respect in Growth is what makes up the word STRING. None can ever deny that in what ever relationship is may be, these 3 elements, Softness of one’s heart, tenderness through caring, and respect are the keys to keeping and maintaining the string. Should anyone decide at any point of time to not maintain that string, it will frail and might just break out of the extreme pressure, be it depression or rejection.

Well, there are no textbook ways to maintain a string. Just like splicing in scouting, each splice has its own usage, and it can only be used under specific condition. Keeping that in mind when maintaining a relationship, everyone has his or her own way of keeping friends. Some are externally warm; some doesn’t show much emotion but keep their friends close at heart, while some are passively warm. The underlining fact is that as long as the spirit of companionship never dies, you can be assured that the sting will never frail.

Well, knowing that the thickness of the string will never increase, but the strength of the knot may increase, it all comes down to how much effort one puts into tying that knot. It could be a permanent strong knot, or it could just loosen up over time. So what’s your knot?

DJ online,

-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw

DJ on Neutrlisation(pH 7): HCL+ NaOH--NaCL + H2O

Back in high school, we learned that Acid mixed with Bases, and acid mixed with Alkali will give us salt and water. Salt and water is a product of a process known as neutralization, with a pH 7. pH 7 in chemistry is actually the neutral state of a mixture. It is neither acidic nor alkali. Of course, if the mixture were to have a pH 6, it would give acidic property, while a pH 8 would give an alkali property. To many, a slight change in pH would not be an issue to fuss over with. However, a vast difference in pH would bring about much trouble, it would either turn very sour, or it would turn very bitter.

Applying that knowledge to human communication, by taking pH values as the degree of interest in a conversation, which could be either interesting or not, it could actually serve as a prediction to whether your conversation partner is interested to communicate with you again. Still can’t see the connection, can you?

You see, in a conversation, it could either be dull or interesting. While pH 7 serves as a neutral stand, pH 1 and pH 14 serves as the extreme, with pH1 indicating an extremely dull conversation, while pH 14 indicating an extremely interesting conversation. Now, this is only a small fraction to the whole communication equation. You see, whether or not your conversation partner looks forward to your next conversation actually depends on the pH value of your current conversation. For example, if your conversation is at a pH value of 1, you might just blow off your chance to have another conversation with your current partner. Now you might be thinking that pH 14 is the best, but I assure you not. Why? Well, if your conversation were to have a pH reading of 14, which is extremely interesting, you might have a hard time keeping up to your partner’s expectation. So if you fail to deliver the same amount or more satisfaction, you might have the possibility of loosing your partner’s interest in you, which is as good as a pH 1 conversation.

Well, as you can see the key to an ongoing and interest motivated conversation is not to be on any extreme side, but to balance the interesting and dull. Too interesting will keep your partner entertained but might back fire you the next time if you are unable to deliver the same level of satisfaction, which could be pictured as a one hit wonder kind of thing. Too dull will just kill your chance of talking to your partner again, which can be pictured as a suicide plan. So the key is to be at pH 7. A slight increase or decrease will actually keep your partner hanging and wanting for more. Why? See, if your conversation decreases a little in pH value, it will keep your partner wondering what happened to you, and he or she might just ask you more questions and show more concern. If your conversation has a little increase in pH reading, you can be pictured as a little boy giving a little girl a kiss on the cheek and run away after that, leaving the girl in a fascinated, entertained, and surprised (in a good way) mode. It is like drugs that keeps your partner wanting for more.

Well, one can argue that the equation is not as simple as how I proposed. No doubt it cannot cover the whole picture. Definitely you will have factors like history with the partner and mutual understanding as disapproving factors. For example, one can argue that a dull conversation will not dissatisfy a long married couple, in which you will find a long history of knowledge between them. However, what is proposed here is only a theory that serves as a general statement, which is not totally wrong, and neither totally right.

Well, in general, the key to keep your conversation partner interested in your next conversation is to tap into his or her interest and get out, which is a conversation with a pH value of 6 or 8. Too much or too little of it will just kill their interest.

So, what is the conclusion? Is to try to keep it at a pH 7 level, where you keep them hanging and interested. Try experiment this theory, you might just find it fascinating on how true or how false it is to you. Either way, it is worth your 5 minutes finding out!!!

DJ online,

-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw

An Approach

Thing started off on a lovely afternoon. I can't exactly remember the date but what I could recall is that it was a Thursday. I bump into him at the pathway above our college while i was heading to a fastfood outlet to have my lunch. Didn't expect to met him there. As usual, he was in black and was walking alone with his earphone listening to music. At that moment, I was telling myself, "Come on, you can do it! Just don't let go the opportunity again."

At that moment, without considering the situation, consequences and people around, I walked directly to him. I started off the conversation with a "HI!" and a smile, which I think it is appropriate == He then replied me with a softly spoken HI and slowly removing his earphone. And his expression? It was interesting "~ I think at that moment he was trying to express that he was shocked and didn't expect me to talked to him.

I didn't let the conversation continued with an awkward silent. I continued the conversation by asking him was him previously having tuisyen at *****? He then answered me YES. After that, I cant imagined what a stupid answer I gave. It was " Ooh, I see. No wonder you looks so familiar." LOL, stupid answer isn't it == Even now when I recalled what I had said, I also felt like taking the words back and give him a better answer.

After that, I asked him for his name and I also introduced myself to him. And I remember the last sentence that I told him before ending the conversation is "Do say HI if we see each other in the college." and he replied me with a warm smile. I knew that this was not a good way to end the conversation, however I was so happy and satisfy that day. I was thinking that at least after 2 years I finally dare to make the first move. Even tough it was a simple conversation and it started off with a random talk, but it also signifies a good starting for our friendship.

The day after that, I met him at the corridor. It was during the lunch hour and the corridor was crowded with students, but I still managed to spot him out easily from the crowd. And the non-verbal communication that takes place between us at that moment was a simple and sweet "SMILE" on our face. It just happened within few seconds when we passed by each other, and may be it was just a simple face expression which does not mean anything to others, but to me, it signifies that he accepted our friendship ", And it also mean that both of us could actually still remember yesterday's conversation clearly and did what we had promised.

However after few weeks of non verbal communication that taken place between us, I was told by a friend of mine that he was "no longer available". At that moment, my heart was like experiencing a hard crash. I was so sad. I felt like I'm an idiot doing something foolish. I was sad not because he already "taken". It just simply beacuse I looks so stupid approaching someone who already had a partner. And he, probably will just see my approach as a joke. But after this incident, we tend to smile lesser to each other and even sometimes we will just pass by each other and pretend like we did not see each other. Even myself also don't know what causes things to changed, and why is this happening. And till now, we are still communicating with a smile. Nothing happened more than that, and not even another conversation.

But putting this aside, I was actually quite proud of myself for making the first move and starting the communication within us. I have a friend who always tells me that : "When things ended up in this way, you really cant help it. But, at least he did noticed you. And a smile had really signified a good start." THANKS, my friend ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Not ANOTHER Maths?!

Another week has passed and once again I am attending my usual Tuesday's Marketing class. Somehow time progressed quickly during that full period. Soon, everyone was allowed to leave. I bid farewell to the presence that were next to me as she parts seperate ways. I then proceed to my following lecture which was Statistics. During the ongoing lecture, I was laid back and calm. The attention level was at its minimal as I was feeling tired and drained out for the day. Relaxed, I venture into the state of mind.

In life, there are ones who succeed and those who "fail". In business, people do "fail". In sports, people do "fail". Even in relationship, people do "fail". Almost in every aspect of life, there will bound to be failures.

A couple of years back I watched Jimi Hendrix playing guitar on tv, and he was having a blast. He made it look so easy. So, I thought I want to play the guitar. I grabbed my Dad and went to a guitar shop near our house. I thought it would be fun and challenging to get involved in playing guitar. Over a short period of time, I bought a classical guitar, a few training books and a DVD; having to cost at least RM700. A few weeks passed. I played terrible and hated the experience. I hated it primarily because I performed awfully and that made me very uncomfortable. I left the guitar at the corner of my store room and haven't played since, until a year later. I didn't blame the training books that fail to deliver the appropriate skills because I'm not playing victim. I know what happened. I didn't fail at playing the guitar; I quit. The fact I didnt performed to my expectation is very similar to someone not having immediate success in different aspects of life. What I'm sure of, is that every person who is a professional guitarist has had days where they didn't play to thier expectations. But they certainly didn't quit. They stick to it. Thier interest in guitar is greater then thier interest in quitting. The truth is, I didn't fail playing guitar. I quit playing guitar. All the millions and millions of people who have guitars in thier store room and aren't playing them now didn't fail at playing guitar either. They quit.

The true facts are, it takes no effort to quit. So when you hear that most people fail at a particular situation, picture all those golf clubs in people's garage, all the gym memberships that are inactive, all the inhome exercise equipment that has clothes hanging on them and haven't been used in months and all the musical intruments sitting unused in thier cases. If someone was to claim that most will fail if they enroll in a particular lecture or most don't make money in newtork marketing, ask them to put it into perspective and compare to all the other things people attempt to do. If they have integrity, they will say it isn't any different. Most people quit at everything. I picked up the guitar a year later and devoted myself into learning the basics. It wasn't perfect but I did well since. Just like anyone who has ever accomplish great things in thier life. The decision someone makes on the day they get involved or the day they start a business is not the important one. The important one is the decision they make when they realize what is it really going to take to succeed. Nike wouldn't pay Tiger Woods 100 million dollars to wear thier logo if he was only some ordinary golfer. Tiger is great because he worked his guts out. It isn't any different if one wants to succeed in anything. What one needs to learn to accomplish that in life is communication skills. And communication skills is just like a golf swing. Its something you learn NOT something you're born with. That's why its called a "skill". People don't fail at things. They quit before they learned the necessary skills to do them. So failing is never an option.

I was then reminded by a couple question that seems irrelevant when it is logically analyzed.
If I want to get fit, what are the odds that I actually will?
If I studied hard, what are the chances of me getting a HD in maths?
If I am nice, what are the odds of me scoring that girl?

HUH?
That seems like an irrelevant question to me. Why? Because:

• Odds has nothing to do with me getting off the couch and tossing that potato chips into the thrash.
• Odds has nothing to do with me studying hard and completing assignments.
• Odds has nothing to do with me being attentive to a particular girl.

Odds are incorrectly used when performance comes in where it may ALTER the chances.

If I roll a die, there is NO performance involved.So, what are the odds?
Someone can say the odds of rolling a 5 is 1/6.

or

If I flip a coin, there is NO performance involved.
So, the odds are 50/50 or 1/2.

HOWEVER

If I'm trying to putt a little white ball into a hole in a golf course, there is performance involved.If I'm trying to build a business, there's performance involved.If I'm trying to learn to play the guitar, there's performance involved.
Hence, odds cannot come into play.

A firm and yet familiar voice then interrupted me. I withdrew my thoughts and brought myself back to reality. It was my lecturer. I was required to answer a particular question given by her. However, I wasn't able to catch her full question as I wasn't being attentive. A short moment of silence follows and soon she herself gave the answer. Perhaps the unintended leak in my non-verbal communication clearly shows I wasn't following along with the class. After a brief moment, the class ended. As I walked through the corridor, a very intersting phrase seized my attention.

"Great Minds have Purpose, Little Minds have Wishes"

With that in mind, I smiled to myself and continued home.

Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~

Chemistry is the crazy form of getting it

Relationship without communication? It sounds like trying to swim without water in the pool. Relationship without non-verbal communication? It is even more like trying to swim through ice cube. Verbal communication is a necessary tool in any type of relationship but how about nonverbal communication? Does the ability of communication through body language and facial expressions play as a huge factor in a relationship?


Try to imagine, a gentle touch of strong hands that can be reassuring in times of doubt and indecision, a loving smile framed by eyes that peer into one's soul, warms the heart and evokes feelings of passion and sincere longing, the closeness of a caring caress and finally followed by a soft kiss. It obviously shows that the power of non-verbal communication is often taken for granted in the context of relationships.

Think about the last time you changed your mind about a restaurant or movie. Did the conversation also include a shy little smile, just the kind you like or a finger lightly trailing up your arm. Maybe you got you hair played with and the batting of her eyes. All of these actions are non-verbal, and are the things that really open up the lines of understanding.

We all know and recognize when someone is speaking. Lips are moving and breathing is choppy, but that's only the minority of it. Have you ever heard " Action speaks louder than word"? It can often express what words cannot, and communicates when words are inappropriate. It is a more sincere showing of how one feels, when the validity of one's verbal commitments are in question. The words "I love you" can sometimes feel empty without being accompanied by a kiss. Caring can become a void concept without the outward sharing of some physical interaction. The right words can aptly express how one feels, but an expression of affection through the use of non-verbal communication shows how one feels. At times, it could be as simple as holding hands.

Sometimes, the best way to make a person feel better or to simply let them know they're needed and loved is to kiss them on the forehead, give them a hug, make eye contact and smile or just touch their shoulder or rub their back. Motion, gestures and eye contact, however, never lie.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Smile ",

What can you see from this picture. Did the scenery manage to catch your attention? Or are you looking at the birds? Well, the first message i got from this picture was the simley face formed by the 3 birds. Isn't it very beautiful ^^ Instead of observing many different smiley face on people, did the smiley face that appear during noon in the sky manage to impress you?

Smiling can act as a sign of language on a person's expression. It is also one of the facial expression that can appear not only on human, but also on an animal. A simple and sweet smile can actually bring different meanings to different people who interpret it. Meanings vary when you smile to a different people and people also tend to receive a different message from your smile. And there is no definite or particular way to interpret a smile.

1. A smile given after a person received a gift or a reward. It means THANK YOU!
2. Smile when you see you friends or lecturers. It means HELLO
3. Smile after a handshake from someone whom you first know. It means NICE TO MEET YOU!
4. Sometimes when you want to approach someone, start with a warm eye-contact combined with a smile. It's like hinting to the person, CAN WE BE FRIENDS?
5. Even when you are not listening to someone, do respond them with a smile. It means SORRY, I was not listening just now ==
6. When you enter a shop or restaurant, a smiley face from the waiter/ waitress/ cashier/ worker of the shop means WELCOME!
7. Smiling to your boyfriend/ girlfriend after a kiss. It means I LOVE YOU!

Smiling is like a beautiful magic attending a person's soul. Even without talking, a smile can also fully represent the untold feeling and words of yours. It can even be more wonderful when someone manage to gauge and receive the right message from your smile. It is nice to smile as it can also make people around you to feel happy and warm.

However, some people tend to blame others for not smiling. They will interpret those who don't smile as a snobbish, arrogant and even as an isolated person. This is actually a very bad perception that people could come out with. Can't they just try to put themselves in others' shoe and try to think of their feeling. May be that particular person just happened to be emo and in a bad mood that day, and we actually cant force them to smile. Even sometimes, it might just be a conincidence that the person did not see you and they didn't smile to you. You cant expect people to smile all the time even when they are alone?! And by that time when people see someone who smiles too often, they will actually address the person as a "psycho person".

In short, do enjoy observing the smiley face of people. Noticing the cheek dimples appearing on the smiley face, noticing them smiling with their mouth open and showing their teeth can actually make us feel happy. How about you? Have you smile today? Try throwing a "killer smile" to someone and you will know what wonderful effect it will bring ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn