The beginning of an ending

Since the blog is dead, I'll just post up some crap to keep it alive

College is starting tomorrow and good luck for everyone

especially members of banana-with-thecutecarrot

for our final semester except for Chris since he is done with foundation,ahaha

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Happy Ending

3 and a half motnh came to an end .
6/8/2009 It's the last class of our human communication
Had a class party and many food were prepared ^^

Btw this is the one and only class picture of our "big family"

Like this photo a lot ...

And hoping evryone all the best in the future
Although all of us might not be in the same class anymore

Good luck and study hard in finals yea ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

A Happy Happy Birthday

Hmm..the advent of your birthday is finally here. This just shows how fast time flies. Plus, it has been ages since i last posted. Well I'll just keep things short and simple. May all your dreams be at their sweetest and your every wishes come true. Fun times ahead. With this in mind, I hope that this greeting will make your day all the more important and worthwhile. I wish you the best and you deserve to feel special in every way for this moment. Happy Birthday, Vanilla Villain.

Hugs and kisses from cdvp..

Cute Carrot Chris

Happy Birthday !!!

TO : Vivian

Happy Sweet *18*th Birthday my friend ^^

Stay happy, healthy and Enjoy your day

Hope you will get all the best things in life ",

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Hapily Ever After

Time flies, one more month to complete this semester. This is probably going to be my last post in this blog since the due date of this assignment is this week.

So I guess everyone must wonder how we came out with " banana-with-thecutecarrot" to represent our group and it was actually a funny topic for everyone in the class. Well, I will just say... it is a random idea. We never thought of this before. We came out with different names, some are serious and some are lame. However, those names are not available when we were applying a new domain for our human communication blog. Since I was the one who in charge of organizing this blog, I just put banana to match with our original idea which is the cute carrot. Why banana? It was just a random idea, no explaination. I was just thinking about monkey at that moment and eventually the idea of banana popped out of nowhere. We want something funny and lame so that people will remember our blog name. Come on, banana-with-thecutecarrot? Have you ever heard of it before? I'm pretty sure this blog is the first one to present this idea. Besides, you can see our group picture as our blogskin. Why group picture? We want something special than other. Instead of using the blogskins that are provided, we decided to make our own blogskin with our group picture. This how we came out with banana-with-thecutecarrot.

I must say banan-with-thecutecarrot is an amazing team. All of us are really into our human communication stuff like tutorial game, 5 minutes silent video clip and movie assignment. It is the fate that brought four of us to be in the same group. We, from hi-and-bye friends to now, friends that can click with each other, help each other and be there to support each other.

What have I chosen human communication? I still remember this question. Now, I can tell you why human communication. Basically, I just want to be a better communicator for my future like how to deal with people. Fashion buyer is always my dream job, a future job that I really want. As the word buyer, I must know how to communicate with others when I want to purchase their products for the company. However, after the pass 2 months plus, I have gained more than what I want. Now, I do not expect people think alike with me and do something that I expect. Trust me, I always though my friends understand what I mean through hints or expect them understand my body action. I understand how people communicate and how to avoid to have conflict. The tone, the meaning of the word, the body action and so on are very important when it comes to communication.

Lastly, I would like to thank to the lecturer, Mr.Murali that make the class to be a fun class and banana-with-thecutecarrot! Human communication class is a memorable class!

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Closer

Have you guys noticed that blogging actually bring all of us to be closer? The other way for us to communicate with others? Sharing is the main purpose to have a blog. We write down our opinion or story in blog to share with people that think like us. Eventually it brought all of us to have a closer relationship.

I started to blog since I was 15 while blogging was still a new thing for everyone at that moment. The main reason for me to have a blog is because I was looking for a place to write something down so that I can remember my past. I know some people will ask "Isn't it better to have a dairy?". However, we can put pictures, musics and video in blog and those cannot be done in dairy. After high school, I cannot always meet up with my high schoolmates no matter how close we are unless we study the same college with them. Unfortunately, my close friends are studying at other colleges. With different timetable for assignments, quizzes and exam, we hardly get the chance to meet up until recently we all met up at MOS for Mad to Max event. So, blogging is the only way to share our story and keep tracks with others about what is going on in our life.

Sometimes, I randomly visit others' blog and you will find out your A friend knows your B friend as well. How small can the world be? Looking through all the pictures in everyone's blog, you will realize that everyone knows everyone. The social circle is not that big.

Some people or I should say professional blogger like cheeserland or fourfeetnine share their personal life in blog and people actually read it. They became celebrity blogger which we never heard of it back in few years. We can even get useful information from blog like food information, IT, fashion and so on. Whatever things that can be done through website also can be done in blog.

Why do we read others' blog? One purpose, to have a closer relationship with everyone.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Feel like a Star

I'm sure most of the people are afraid of standing on stage whether to perform or to give a speech. I feel that way too. 12th July 2008,which is last year, my club held an event which was International Understanding Day. So my friends and I took part in dance performance.

From the day we decided to take part to perform, we had madness dance practice that drove everyone crazy especially it clashed our school exam. Besides, we also had arguments due to different opinions, timing to practice or being lazy to practice in the studio.

On that day itself, we were so nervous at the backstage because we never performed in front of public other than people in the studio. We did a lot of weird stuff like jumping around to calm us down before the performance. Well, stage fright. Luckily, we managed to perform without showing our nervous emotion in front of the audiences at the end.



See, everyone is fear of stage but we just need to find a way to calm ourselves down before we perform. Imagine people that always on stage like Obama. He is not born to be a good public speaker, gives speeches in front of thousand of people or even more than that. Is just that, he found his way to overcome his fear. Look at popular singer, some of them used to be shy and afraid to perform in front of people but now, they can perform at anytime, anywhere.

Stage is not that scary as long as we find our way to overcome it. As for me, I will always think of people that I love before I perform in front of public because I know they will always be there to support me although they are not physically with me.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Clothes Maketh A Man

What do you think about this man way of dressing. Does he look attractive? Funny? Interesting? Funky? Punk or Cool? But seriously if this guy appear like that in public, he really has successfully catch the public attention. I believe that you and I will definitely lay our vision on him with you eyeball puffing out. And the expression is definitely shocked and you might say :"OMG. Why is he dressing like that. Is he INSANE ?!"

Clothing is an important element. It gives people the first impression of you and it can also be a symbol of your personality. It's a relatively straight forward method of impression management and it's a means of nonverbal communication. Clothing also able to enhance one's physical attractiveness. Someone says that "There are no definite ugly person in this world, but there are only lazy people". This saying clearly explains that everyone can be attractive to others no matter how they look like. Just spend some time, put in effort to dress up and choose the appropriate attire, then you will be able to see the obvious changes on your ownself.

People also used to make assumption on a person based on their clothing. A businessman can show their economic status by wearing a smart coat; A doctor can show their professional image by wearing a white coat; An air steward can wear uniform to show their occupation; and lastly even a beggar also can dress in rags to clearly show others their poor condition and the low status in this society.

However, now a days the in crowd like to dress according to the latest trend. They are willing to spend a large amount of money to buy the latest designer clothes and dress fashionably to show off. They are also people that are very brand conscious. They will only choose to buy all the branded clothing. My viewpoint is that, no matter how expensive clothes you are wearing or how trendy the clothes you are wearing, it's also not the key idea to dress well. A person can easily being praised by others if they are able to put themself in a suitable and comfortable clothing.

Dressing up its like fitting you own body into a comfortable house. It doesn't matter how expensive the house is but the most important thing is you must ensure that you are comfortable to stay in your own house. And when you choose your clothing, don't be shame to choose the one that can fit you well. Don't hesitate to buy a XXL pants if XL doesn't fit you; Don't afraid to buy a XL T-shirt if L doesn't suit you. This principle also work in the same way in buying a house. If you doesn't earn much then you shall just buy a lot in the apartment. If u can afford then you shall buy a lot of banglo. Don't ever try to fit yourself in a "apartment" room if your butt only fits well in a "bungalow" size pants.

They are still a lot more knowledge about how to dress well are awaiting us to explore. But bare in mind that you will definitely look perfect whenever you dress well and put yourself under a comfort manner. Choose your attire smartly and dress Smart. It's a form of of respect to others, as "clothes maketh a man".

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Staying in Touch

The relationship between mother and daughter can counted as one of the most general warmth and closeness in this world. Of course, sometimes they fight for little small things but most resolve themselves with heartfelt apologies from both sides, and lots of hugs.

However, during adolescence daughter is faced with the task of differentiating herself, the mother-daughter relationship becomes one of alternating intimacy and hate, both marked with an intensity that only teenagers can bring to a relationship and bring out of their parents. For example, me, myself and my mother. Nowadays, The relationship between my mom and I are more to best friends. I always tell her like " The guy is hot" when I see any hot guys or some random talks. Instead of going to mall together, we always go out for brunch or lunch when my siblings are having school. I enjoy eating food and I always persuade her to bring me out for food after I read food article from newspaper or blog. And now, I want to learn how to cook chinese food from her. It will be so fun, cooking lessons in the kitchen!

I remember once when I was in LRT with her, I cried in front of her and telling her that I could not deal with the mistake that I have made. Of course, she got freak out because I was crying in front of the public. What she did was just try to calm me down by telling me "everything is gonna be fine and she will help me and so on". At that moment, I felt so guilty for what I did, being so stubborn without accepting others' opinion at the beginning and created a mess for everyone.

It is true to say that mom and daugther have a lot of fight especially growing stage because the daugther's self-esteem is increasing and deal with a lot of things like friendship, boys and studies. However, it is hard for mom to sit and watch their daughter suffer with it and eventually they will take action to interupt their daughter's problems. I have that problems as well, even until now. Sometimes, I will get annoyed with repeated questions from her again and agian then I will start to raise my voice lound to answer her which is very rude. Sorry, mom. The fact that she does that is because she cares about me and I am always the small little girl for her. I am pretty sure thing will still remain the same eventhough I reach to age 40 and have my own children.

As we can see, mother is the one who always physically and mentally be there for us. No matter what we do or what we say, she will still be there and look after us without complaining. Start from now on, we must treat our mom nicely since they deserve it. My little advise, treat your mom nicely because you seriosuly do not want to end up living in a regretful life because you did not treating her nice.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

DJ on Social:~Looking at The Bigger Picture

DJ on T-E-A-M

The groups

Take a look in these few pictures below:

The popular girls

The popular guys

These two pictures shown us that social grouping is one of the nature things in this world. As we all know, we always categorized people into group like the popular one, the nerdy one, the weird one and so on. We tend to put them into a particular group through what we see or what we hear and people that we labeled them under that group hardly get the chance to prove us whether they deserve the label or not.

Our physical look and ability on working or studying are things that determine which group are we under. It is true to say that judging others by physical look is very unfair but it is the fact of social circle. We have seen people label them as the "beauty group" and others label people that have unattractive as the "ugly group".

In order to fit into the group, most of us tend to lose our own personality. We follow what others do, no matter the actions are right or wrong. We will change ourselves to fit in from the way we dress, speak and act. Some of us are even willing hurt innocent people just to fit into the group that they want to be into. In other word, fitting into the group is something that we want, we do not want to be the loner or the left out.

This scene can be seen at everywhere like kindergarten, schools, colleges, workplaces or social clubs. It never stopped. By dividing people into groups will cause a lot of social problems as well. We often see this group dislike the other group or this group anti-that group. Once, I was in this camp with some other teenagers and I was told by them that I must indirectly pick which side am I and who is the one I support. Yes, you guys probably say that " Can i not to choose any side?" but at the end of the day, we still have to pick one side to fit into the group. Like I say, social grouping never comes in a easy way.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Self-fulfilling

This is a picture of a korean actor "Jang Ja Yun" who starred in a korean drama that has been very hit recently, named "Boys Over Flowers". She had passed away recently in March. Upon investigation, it had been proven that she had experienced serious depression since 10 years ago and that had led to her death. She hung herself from a railing along her stairs and she had passed away when the police arrived.

A lot of artist have been lately revealed that they are surferring from clinical depression. This is because most of them are unable to overcome the stress and working load. They felt uneasy to live under the observation of the public as they are often followed by paparazzi. As a pulic person, some part of their private life and some small action of them will also be enlarged and criticised by others.

Statistic shown that 15% of those who are clinically depressed died of suicide. Majority of people who choose to suicide is around the age of 20 to 24. And the gender ratio in this age group is 7:1 (Males : Females). Mentally disorder, Stress, Neglect, Physically ill, Poor Health, Depressed, Poverty, abuse are the few reasons which can cause suicide. However in my viewpoint, I think the thought of one is the key idea which can really lead to suicide.

"The expectation of one person govern another's action" and "one's expectations influence their own behavior". A normal person will have a healthy brain chemistry. If they are able to hold strong self-concept, they won't be easily affected by others unnecessary criticism and comments. And if they have self-fulfilling prophecy, they ar able to make things happened like what they expected. Exaggerating their actions and add in a little effort or hard work can easily bring about expected event. By that time, a person's expectation most probably will make the outcome to occur and been true.

Therefore with self-fulfilling prophecy, people with suicidal thoughts are not necessary to end up dying. They should always bare in mind that they can do it and they have the ability to overcome the depression and must not let the suicidal thoughts to conquer them and push them to death. People around them should also motivate them and company them, make them feel that they are important. Share things with them and try to bring them out to mix around with people. It can help to ease their depression.

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Holding Hands

During our day of birth, our parents held our hands and brought us to this amazing world ...
At that moment, the only respond we gave is crying ... Our parents cradle us in their arms and I knew it's an absolutely mind blowing awesome moment for them ...

During the age of 1, we started to crawl on the floor and we hardly stay still in their arms ... We wanted to struggle and crawl away from them as we wanted to experience the freedom to crawl on the floor ... But our parents still can catch us with their palm and gently carry us on their arms again ... I can still barely remember the heat from my parents, when i were in their arms

During the age of 5, our parents held our hands and taught us how to walk ... Although we fell and slipped but they will still lend us their hand and patiently teach us again ... They also taught us how to buckel our own shoes, tie our shoe lace, button our shirt, comb our hair and etc ...

During the age of 7, our parents held our hands and lead us into our school ... We grabbed their hand tightly as we are afraid of the new environment and the strangers around us ... We felt so insecure and lean closely to our parents body ...

During the age of 15, we had our own friends and we often blame our parents for being too grumpy, tradition and even too strict ... We wanted to fight for our own freedom ... So, We hated their existence ... We used harsh and sarcastic word to reject their good advice to us ... We rejected their help and we never listen to their advice anymore ...

During the age of 18, we thought we are grown up and are able to live and survive on our own ...
And some of us, might try to run away from house, run away from this grumpy couple, and run away from all the restrictions ... We never understand their intention and we never try to put ourselves in their own shoe ...

As we grown older 20 ... 21 ... 25 ... 30 ... 35 .... 40 .... 45 .... 55
We will soon have our own family and we started to be very busy on our own life ...

By that time, our parents had grown older too ... One day, when we return home to visit our parents .... WE brought our kids and family together ... By that time, you will only noticed that your parents are old already ... Their hair are white, their face are full of wrinkles ... And they could hardly stand up and give you a hug in their arms to welcome you ... Now, they can only lend you their shivery hands and give you a handshake to welcome you ...And now you should know that it's your turn to take care of them .

Don't blame them if they cant hold the comb properly and comb their own hair; Button their shirt if they left out one; Buckle their shoe if they cant bend down and do it; Hold their hand tightly and lead them to cross the road ... Give them your hand and hold them tightly during their old age ... They will feel more secure knowing that you will always be there for them when they can no longer do things on their own ... And finally hold their hands tightly too like how they held us to this world during our birth day .... Never let go yoru hands when they release their last breathe ... Stay beside them and give them warmth through your palms when they ended their journey on this earth ...

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Rest In Peace

Life is really unpredictable. For example, death comes in shock.

Last Friday was a very sad day for most of the people especially Micheal Jackson's fans. Once my mom came back from sending my siblings to school, she told me that Micheal Jackson passed away in the morning. Honestly, receiving news about people passing away is not the first thing that I want to hear early in the morning.

He is the only King of Pop in everyone's heart, a legend singer. He created a lot of trends in the past like amazing music videos and dances. These things are still in our heart even singers also learn from him. A lot of pop star singers treated him as an idol and want to be like him. MJ motivated them indirectly. Not only singers, teenagers also want to dance like him especially Moon Walk dance.

The first MJ's song that I listened to is " Thriller " with the amazing music video that have a strong incredible impact on everyone. I used to get freak out whenever I watched the music video because he looked very scary but I was totally in love in the dance move that shown in " Thriller ". It was like a dance move that everyone must know, at least it was for me and my friends. We always made this move whenever we were jobless. Trust me, dance with school uniform in the class is really fun especially Thriller dance move that everyone knows.

And now, he is gone as in forever. For the past one week, I have watched or listened a lot of MJ's music video.His songs is never ever gotten boring or old, no matter how many times we listen Seriously, it is very sad and a big lost for us since he passed away. Seriously, it is a big lost for us since he is no longer here anymore.

We'll miss you, Micheal Jackson.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Closing The Ring:~You're never free from the promises that you make

“I promise you”….We are all very familiar with the long used phrase. This is a phrase that is used for centuries by many cultures with the intention of committing a number of people to a similar covenant. It’s very sole purpose is to remind the people in the same circle of the agreement made to each other. It could come in a form of pinky swear, or even in a form of a serious Holy Matrimony.

Last week, I manage to catch a movie goes by the name of “Closing the Ring”, which talks about a promise between two young couples during war time. A promise that says the both of them will always be a couple as one, and that they will always be one forever. However, the complications begin when the male companion fails to return home. On the receiving end, the female companion refuses to accept the fact that he is long gone, and still believes that he is still alive, and wait patiently for the day where he arrives to come.

You see, promise paints a very beautiful picture if it is fulfilled. Like how the Spanish like to put it, it takes two to tango. It requires effort and trust to pain this picture. When you make a promise, you don’t only sell your words, but your trust and dignity, a part of yourselves. On both receiving ends, you strive in everyway to defend your believe and at the same time, hoping that the other party doesn’t give up so easily, especially when it comes to a promise that is hard to keep.

As depicted above, a promise drives an individual to be very loyal to his or her own corresponding member. It drives them to push all the obstacles aside and remain focus of their main goal. Some call it naïf, but to the people who make the promise it’s a symbol of what appears to be more than friendship. Take a lecturer for an example; once he or she is tied to an oath, that is to teach and do a job well done, he or she has to make it come true at the end of the day. In a way, it raises the standards of the intended action and at the same time, reminding themselves that there is something more that that.

“You are never free of the promises that you make” that was the tagline of the whole movie. This phrase is very well said as a promise between two or more people is actually a very serious issue to address. The sad thing is, many contemporary citizens fail to understand its magnitude. As long as a promise is made, it can never be undone. It’s just like telling your wife that you accept her on day of marriage, and tell her that you have no feelings for her the next day. How would it make any logical sense?

A very clear example would be like Politicians making promises to their people. This in turn, provides a clear insight of how reliable this person is when it comes to manifesting his own words. While he is exposed on the outside making promises, you on the receiving end can observe and scrutinize him. We always rely on people who can live their very own words. It seems that promises makes the benchmark to whether a person is reliable or not. “See! He did what he promises. He’s a reliable man.” Sounds like a clichés to you, doesn’t it?

I think that when a promise is made, the content does not matter at all. However, what matters most is how sincere you are in committing that promise. You can make the world’s biggest promise and fail to live it through, not because it’s the world’s biggest promise, but simply because you never mean it in the first place.

Promise is a driving force that keeps that small flame of interest burning. It keeps us going when the going gets harder. We as individuals make promises in some ways or another. But the question that we have to ask ourselves is, “am I ready to take up that challenge to live through my words?”. In the movie “The Transporter 2”, the leading actor named Frank has a rule of his own when it comes to promise, which is “Never keep a promise that you can’t keep”. If you can’t keep a decent promise, you might as well just don’t make it in the first place.

So the question is, “Can you keep a promise?”

DJ online,
Damian Thomas Khaw

DJ on Kelvin Client:~The Shirt

How does Kelvin Client Shirt collection comes into play in our lives?

Now when we pass through a shop, the very first thing that catches our attention would drive us to pay a visit that particular shop. Now in this shop, you found out that this particular shirt caught your attention. And so, you develop an interest in it. What do you do next? You take it down and have a feel of it, of course. After knowing that the material is satisfactory, you then make your way to the dressing room to try it out. The main purpose in trying out is to see whether the shirt fits and looks nice on you.

Now here comes the tough decision. Do I buy it, or not? If I do, I have to be certain that I wouldn’t regret buying it. If the answer is a very certain yes, you then make your way to the cash register to get your shirt paid. What happens after that? You enjoy the shirt that gives you style, warmth, and comfort for the rest of your days.

Now that’s how a relationship takes place.

Take visiting a shop as entering an arena to meet people. And take that particular shirt that attracts your attention as a someone that stands our in your world. So, what do we do next? We take the shirt up and take a look at it on the surface. So, we make small talks with that person to find out general things about that person. This is what we call the experimenting stage.
After touching and having the feel of the material, we then make our way to the changing room. This is when we start to intensify the relationship. And so we start looking for this person’s strengths and weaknesses, getting to know this person on a deeper level.

What happens after that? Well, if we’re certain that this is the perfect shirt, we make our purchase. The same thing applies in a relationship. If you are certain that this is the person that you’d like to be with, you start integrating. This is a stage when people see you as a unit, having the same interest, identity like nick names for each other and many more.

The post purchase is when we walk out the shop with our satisfied goods. This is also the stage where the two individuals bond and walk out of the arena to enjoy a life long experience of sharing their lives together.

However, the problem arises when people neglect the importance of the evaluation stage, which is the stage when you are in the changing room. You see, many people, in particular the youth today failed to observe the importance of that stage. So what they do is that they take this stage very lightly and start off a relationship without knowing whether it will work or not. Some even go up till the purchasing stage and say “it’s over, let’s break off”. Sadly, among the many shirts that comes of the reality Kelvin Client, only a handful are lucky enough to not make it back to the shop.

So you will start to wonder, what’s wrong with returning the goods? To tell the truth, there’s nothing wrong in returning the goods. However, the system isn’t supposed to work that way. The idea of the shirt system is that you only buy the shirt when you truly want the shirt, not because it looks nice on you NOW.

What happends when you return the shirt?

When you return a shirt, the shirt has been worn, stretched, or torn in one way or another. It faces one thing, rejection. And this sense of rejection, according to many puppy love victims are said to be the deepest rejection. They can marry 3 different partners, having a time of their lives but are still carry the guilt and pain from their first relationship.

We hear people saying “it’s ok to try out different partners” but the truth is twisted. What it really meant was, get to know different people first before starting a serious relationship. And if you ever star a serious relationship, make sure you are certain and determined that this relationship is really what you want.

Sheryl Crow sang this song in 2006. “The First Cut is the Deepest” was a hit at all radio stations in 2006. True enough many victims of puppy love find themselves carrying a scar in their heart from the first person they got together with. And the fact that it was a puppy love makes that the relationship never took place. And what they had was just nothing significant, it was rather something that does not reflect the true meaning of what a relationship is all about.


A personal experience of mine from my first relationship, which dates back into high school still haunt me from time to time. And the feel of rejection certainly didn’t feel any better.And the common question is always “Why? Have I done anything wrong?”

Whether have I done anything wrong still remains a mystery to me, but the one thing that I know where I’ve gone wrong is that I jumped the gun too soon. In other words, means I fail to observe the evaluation part. I fail to observe this girl long enough to know and truly understand her in and out to know that she will dump me for another person. I wouldn't consider that as a fatal mistake not a deep cut. Instead, I would say that it made me wiser in my choices. I guess this taught me a very clear lesson on the next ship that I’m on.

And the key to a good evaluation? It’s none other the less than patience and time.

The moral of the story from Kelvin Client is:

Think before you Buy

DJ online,
Damian Thomas Khaw

Breaking Free

Time flies, it is the end of June now. Without realizing, I have spent 6 months in Help University College. Come to think of it, what did I do for the past 6 months? Honestly, I have no idea other than normal routine like attending college, rush for assignments, revision studies and hang out with my friends. That's it! That's what I have been doing for the past 6 months.

As you can see, we put a lot of energy and effort into living especially trying to fit into social circle. So on a regular basic, we should take our time to step out from where we are and look around. Fully experience our life and the world in which we live.

Spend some time on something that is unusual for us other than to take in all the richness of which we're a part. Take some time to allow our thoughts to be still. Feel the wonder, the goodness, the beauty of simply being, and knowing that we are.

Instead of experience life to gain any advantage or to impress someone, we should experience life for ourselves because the depth of its richness has no limit.

The more we experience and appreciate life, the more we'll find ourselves needing less and having more. Experience life, and we'll clearly see how truly rich we already are.

Life is a gift so precious that it has no equal. Experience life, and give that gift to yourself and others. You really do not spend your life without understand the amazing real world!

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Chronemics

The study of how human being use and structure time. Time is not a solid object and it definitely not a soluble liquid. We cant see the real structure and properties of time but we can experience and feel how time flies and passes. Watching the clock ticking or stopwatch counting is the only way for human to see the time previewed. Time is precious. In man's life, we are controlled by time. We often "chase" after the time and we rushed to get our work done within the limited time.

"Time waits for no man but time surely will make us old men." Modern people used to complain that 24 hour in a day is not sufficient. They wish to have more time, to accomplish their task, more time to while away in the shopping mall, more time to earn more money, or even more time seeking for a life of material comfort. But they will never understand the precious of time and they will not know how to control the time well. Instead of spending their time earning money and seek for more luxurious and wealthy life, they should spend their time doing something meaningful and are beneficial to their life.

"Money cant buy time; Money cant Buy happiness". No matter how rich we are and no matter how much property we own ... All these still cant guarantee our happiness and we still cant buy time. We cant buy time to spend with our family and friends; We cant buy time and return it to someone after wasting their time; And we also cant pay to let the time stop. Time are really precious and priceless. Time are unlike video tapes, which you can rewind and recall the events. People cannot rewind the clock and people can't catch up with time no matter how fast we run after it. Therefore, we should spend more time doing meaningful things in life.

Make full use of the time you have, maximize it and never ever waste the precious time.

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

We are still alive!

Sorry for not updating this blog due to our mid term exam.
Stay tuned!

DJ on message:~either you're interested or you're not

The intention when composing a piece of message actually takes quite a lot of effort and sincerity. It's just like wrapping a present for a special someone, and after that you just hope for the best. It's when you hope that the other person will return the pleasant favor as well. If they do, you should be happy.

But the problem starts when the other person do not reply at all. Now this is actually means a lot to the sender. It could just mean that you are not interested, and the effect could be very painful. It's just like handing over a box of chocolate but getting shot at in return. And it is very demotivating. This only applies when the receiver does not reply at all.

When a message sent that does not get a reply actually tells you 1 thing, and there is only one conclusion you can draw out of it. That is, "You're just not interested". Simple as that. And there is no need for a lecturer to explain that.

You see, what I'm trying to say is that when you do not reply a message to someone who sends it to you, it just shows how much you value that relationship. If you reply, you are making an effort in that relationship. When you don't, you're either starting to waste it, or you have already decided to waste the relationship.

I'm not only implying this to a boy-girl messaging. In fact, it does apply to a mother to son messaging, or even coworkers to coworkers, and even friends to friends. These are the relationship that we take it for granted and in fact, some of us even label it as insignificant. Am I right? I could be wrong as well. Do enlighten me if it were wrong.

We usually do not experience this sharp pain untill we experience it first hand. And the effect could be very devastating, espcially when the person means a lot to you. And when you get a niel response, you might just loose yourself. And this is very true. You just have to feel it yourselve.

So the next time you receive a messange from anyone, be it your mother, sibling, friend, or even your special girl or boy friend, just keep in mind that you have two choices which solely depends on your interest. It is either you are interested or you are not...........

So what's on your mind?

DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw

DJ on Storm:~it only takes 1 minute

As the saying goes, "a miss is as good as a mile." One could never predict the vast implication when a small mistake is made, be it through speech or even through action. Some lucky ones learn this lesson far away from conflict, while some just had to learn it the hard way.

Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.

A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.

However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.

The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.

What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.

It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.

So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?

DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw

The light in the dark

Have you ever heard that " Once you choose hope, anything is possible" ? Each and everyday, we struggle with pressure and stress from family and friends, conflict happens due to disagreement, depressions and worst is emotional breakdown.



What does sun raise means to you? Another day to be in hell, continue to suffer and face the ugly real world? Think positive, sun raising in the morning break the darkness in the night, it gives us new hopes! Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.

Hope is like our desire for something to happen, while expecting or being confident that it will come true. Hope also implies a certain amount of perseverance, believing that something is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary. Hope may be directed toward something minor or towards something extremely significant.

It is true to say hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. Everything that is done in the world is done by hope. The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started.

One thing I learn so far about hope is despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Take a dagger, poke that ice~

A wall can be found in your own world once you open your eyes to how you are living...

We create barriers that do not exist outside of our own minds. We see some people as better than us and some as inferior, we look for approval from our peers while rejecting those who do not share our values and beliefs. How can you tear down the walls that keep you separated from the wonderful people in your world?


Perhaps what we could do is look for what we all have in common. Everyone shares the human condition. Everyone is blessed with a lifetime to build themselves up. Regardless of who you are or who you are dealing with, you know with absolute certainty that the person has dreams, hopes, fears and worries just like you do. Even the most confident, self-assured super successful people have worries about the future and regrets about the past. We are all alike. Bear this in mind and you will have more compassion for those you meet and less fear about being yourself.


Look behind the curtain! Don´t be fooled by appearances. That guy driving across town in a new Bentley may well be days away from bankruptcy; the beautiful woman shopping in the mall may not have had a date in months because guys find her intimidating. Even smiling extroverts worry about looking stupid or saying the wrong thing. Sometimes they don´t know when to stop talking and worry about that too! My point is to look for the real person; not what you see on the surface. Listen very carefully to how people express themselves and you will hear subtle changes in voice tone that reveals their true feelings. Think of others as kids playing the game of being adults. We are all dressed up to look like serious adults but deep down we wonder if someone is going to notice we are winging it!


See others as you When talking to people. Remind yourself that at the deepest level that other person is the same as you. This is absolutely true at the quantum level and at the physical, mental and emotional levels apart from minor differences. We are more alike than we are different. A strong foundation is the essence towards a better and lasting relationship. Are you going to be the one to break that ice?

Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~

Friendship

Friendship is a special kind of relationship which we will really cherish in our life. It bonded human being which are not blood related under this kind of relationship. We never know its importance and necessity untill we really experience it. It's like a gift to man kind, a channel of love and affection and an ultimite weapon which can slowly conquer everyone of us. We care bout it so we are often committed to this form of relationship.

We will have lots of friends around us, but not all friend could be addressed as"CLOse". Friends around you can be a "Hi-Bye" friend; a friend that you only throw a smile to; A friend that only keeps you company in class or even a friend that you will only share daily affair with. Moreover, people like us who are now leaving in a competitive society could hardly get a friend which can be named as "CLOSE" friends. A friend that you can share your problems and secrets with. However, everyone will have their own measurement on close friends. And some people might not even have a close friend. They could not expose themselves to others as they might felt insecure, they are worry that everyone around them also have bad intention.

Friends come with friendship. And friendship usually started with a warmth smile and a simple "HI". Its the simplest and most common way but it works all the time. Take the initiative to approach one's around you and you will never the know the next second, friendship already bloom within the two of you. After that don't hesitate to throw appropriate question to them. Its a form of communication so that you could know them better. Try finding a common interest within the both of you, talk more and work on it as it will indirectly bring your friendship into another higher level. Your friendship will be heated and slowly you two will be closer to each other.

Friends are always the one who will be there for us when we needed them. They make us feel secure, comfort, happy, relieved when be with them. We can receive huge support and sincere opinion or advice from them. And as a favour to a friend, you will never expect anything in return as its an offer. An offer to a friend whcih you really cherish.

Be nice, be friendly. Try to make friends with everyone around you and treat everyone as your friend. You will now notice that the world is more lovely and nice if you have friends to be with you ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Ever heard about an ugly girl been selected as the cheerleader?

Let's have a look at these two people.

The Hill's Heidi was a cute girl but decided to go for plastic surgery.

High School Musical franchise star, Zac Efron's nose is nicer now.

And now, think about what's the reason for them to go for plastic surgery?

"

The only reason is physical attractiveness stereotype.

As societies become increasingly mobile, sophisticated and urbanized, first impressions are important. Attractiveness probably affects our first impressions. Thus, in effect, attractive people do impress people at the first glance. Despite feeling jealous of others being more physically attractive, people tend to prefer to work with, be friends with, hang out with, and look at beautiful people. Physical-attractiveness stereotyping happens across the globe. Think about Snow White and Cinderella fairy-tale stories. Snow White and Cinderella are beautiful, kind, honest, and intelligent. Even children learn the stereotype at the early age. Therefore, in their perception, only good and beautiful people could become princesses. The witch, the stepmother and the stepsisters are ugly, wicked, and evil - they possessed bad traits. For one study they showed pictures of different kids to a group of children, ages 4 to 6. Each child from that group was asked to choose who they’d like to be friends with based on those photos. Surprisingly or not, everyone picked the good looking, slim kids opposite to chubby and/or not so handsome peers. So how does it work, how do we become so prejudiced to the looks of people from such a young age? Why is it so common to think that more attractive people are more successful, happier, or self-confident? On the other hand, why do some perceive people with good looks to be less intelligent, more obnoxious, or less loyal?

Attractiveness is a very subjective matter. While attractiveness is the people of any given place and time find attractive, physical-attractiveness stereotype is the presumption that physically attractive people possess socially desirable traits. Simply said, people tend to presume that attractive people possess good behavior.

Although many may deny it, attractiveness and grooming affect first impressions in job interviews. Attractive people with the required qualification would have greater chance to be selected than average-looking people with the same qualification. This could help explain why attractive people have more prestigious jobs and make more money than their average-looking counterparts. In addition, people tend to think that attractive people could get away with anything. They could get anything they wanted in a whim. With this, the newest tendency that is extremely scary is the fact that the distinct perception of beauty in different cultures is slowly but surely disappearing into thin air. An increasing number of Asian Americans are going for eyelid surgery. The corrective nose surgery and botox treatments are becoming one of the most common and fastest growing types of plastic surgery for both genders. Also, with the promotion of thinness as the “ideal female form.” So many teenage girls and women are being brainwashed that you have to be thin to be beautiful, or you look so beautiful now that you’re tens of pounds lighter than before.

My point is does Beauty save the world? I truly hope so. There ought to be something that will save our civilization from going to hell. However it’s not going to be our fixation with Beauty as it is now. We must learn to see the beauty in every human’s soul, the beauty of nature, and all those things that surround us. We must see beauty in us before seeing it in others instead of go for plastic surgery and change our look.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

DJ on Scouting: ~Knots of Life

“Our relationship is on the line” does that sound familiar to you? The truth is, our relationship with people has always been on the line. And the thickness of the line doesn’t increase, and that’s what makes it so precious to us. That is what drives us to take delicate care on the line. But there is one thing that slips out of people’s mind. That is, no matter what line is it, it is always tied with a knot. Whether or not the relationship fruits, solely depends on how tight the knot is. If it’s loose, it will just slip off and there you have a line that’s lifeless.

You see, the knot represents effort. Why? It’s because you need to put in a certain amount of effort in order to produce the knot. And due to the fact that knot makes ties strings together, it show that there’s energy. The tighter the knot is, the warmer the relationship. And relationship varies from person to person, it is reverence when directed to parents; companionship when flows towards friends; passion when it is felt towards the partner; respect when it moves towards elders; kindness when drawn towards children.

Soft Tender Respect in Growth is what makes up the word STRING. None can ever deny that in what ever relationship is may be, these 3 elements, Softness of one’s heart, tenderness through caring, and respect are the keys to keeping and maintaining the string. Should anyone decide at any point of time to not maintain that string, it will frail and might just break out of the extreme pressure, be it depression or rejection.

Well, there are no textbook ways to maintain a string. Just like splicing in scouting, each splice has its own usage, and it can only be used under specific condition. Keeping that in mind when maintaining a relationship, everyone has his or her own way of keeping friends. Some are externally warm; some doesn’t show much emotion but keep their friends close at heart, while some are passively warm. The underlining fact is that as long as the spirit of companionship never dies, you can be assured that the sting will never frail.

Well, knowing that the thickness of the string will never increase, but the strength of the knot may increase, it all comes down to how much effort one puts into tying that knot. It could be a permanent strong knot, or it could just loosen up over time. So what’s your knot?

DJ online,

-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw

DJ on Neutrlisation(pH 7): HCL+ NaOH--NaCL + H2O

Back in high school, we learned that Acid mixed with Bases, and acid mixed with Alkali will give us salt and water. Salt and water is a product of a process known as neutralization, with a pH 7. pH 7 in chemistry is actually the neutral state of a mixture. It is neither acidic nor alkali. Of course, if the mixture were to have a pH 6, it would give acidic property, while a pH 8 would give an alkali property. To many, a slight change in pH would not be an issue to fuss over with. However, a vast difference in pH would bring about much trouble, it would either turn very sour, or it would turn very bitter.

Applying that knowledge to human communication, by taking pH values as the degree of interest in a conversation, which could be either interesting or not, it could actually serve as a prediction to whether your conversation partner is interested to communicate with you again. Still can’t see the connection, can you?

You see, in a conversation, it could either be dull or interesting. While pH 7 serves as a neutral stand, pH 1 and pH 14 serves as the extreme, with pH1 indicating an extremely dull conversation, while pH 14 indicating an extremely interesting conversation. Now, this is only a small fraction to the whole communication equation. You see, whether or not your conversation partner looks forward to your next conversation actually depends on the pH value of your current conversation. For example, if your conversation is at a pH value of 1, you might just blow off your chance to have another conversation with your current partner. Now you might be thinking that pH 14 is the best, but I assure you not. Why? Well, if your conversation were to have a pH reading of 14, which is extremely interesting, you might have a hard time keeping up to your partner’s expectation. So if you fail to deliver the same amount or more satisfaction, you might have the possibility of loosing your partner’s interest in you, which is as good as a pH 1 conversation.

Well, as you can see the key to an ongoing and interest motivated conversation is not to be on any extreme side, but to balance the interesting and dull. Too interesting will keep your partner entertained but might back fire you the next time if you are unable to deliver the same level of satisfaction, which could be pictured as a one hit wonder kind of thing. Too dull will just kill your chance of talking to your partner again, which can be pictured as a suicide plan. So the key is to be at pH 7. A slight increase or decrease will actually keep your partner hanging and wanting for more. Why? See, if your conversation decreases a little in pH value, it will keep your partner wondering what happened to you, and he or she might just ask you more questions and show more concern. If your conversation has a little increase in pH reading, you can be pictured as a little boy giving a little girl a kiss on the cheek and run away after that, leaving the girl in a fascinated, entertained, and surprised (in a good way) mode. It is like drugs that keeps your partner wanting for more.

Well, one can argue that the equation is not as simple as how I proposed. No doubt it cannot cover the whole picture. Definitely you will have factors like history with the partner and mutual understanding as disapproving factors. For example, one can argue that a dull conversation will not dissatisfy a long married couple, in which you will find a long history of knowledge between them. However, what is proposed here is only a theory that serves as a general statement, which is not totally wrong, and neither totally right.

Well, in general, the key to keep your conversation partner interested in your next conversation is to tap into his or her interest and get out, which is a conversation with a pH value of 6 or 8. Too much or too little of it will just kill their interest.

So, what is the conclusion? Is to try to keep it at a pH 7 level, where you keep them hanging and interested. Try experiment this theory, you might just find it fascinating on how true or how false it is to you. Either way, it is worth your 5 minutes finding out!!!

DJ online,

-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw

An Approach

Thing started off on a lovely afternoon. I can't exactly remember the date but what I could recall is that it was a Thursday. I bump into him at the pathway above our college while i was heading to a fastfood outlet to have my lunch. Didn't expect to met him there. As usual, he was in black and was walking alone with his earphone listening to music. At that moment, I was telling myself, "Come on, you can do it! Just don't let go the opportunity again."

At that moment, without considering the situation, consequences and people around, I walked directly to him. I started off the conversation with a "HI!" and a smile, which I think it is appropriate == He then replied me with a softly spoken HI and slowly removing his earphone. And his expression? It was interesting "~ I think at that moment he was trying to express that he was shocked and didn't expect me to talked to him.

I didn't let the conversation continued with an awkward silent. I continued the conversation by asking him was him previously having tuisyen at *****? He then answered me YES. After that, I cant imagined what a stupid answer I gave. It was " Ooh, I see. No wonder you looks so familiar." LOL, stupid answer isn't it == Even now when I recalled what I had said, I also felt like taking the words back and give him a better answer.

After that, I asked him for his name and I also introduced myself to him. And I remember the last sentence that I told him before ending the conversation is "Do say HI if we see each other in the college." and he replied me with a warm smile. I knew that this was not a good way to end the conversation, however I was so happy and satisfy that day. I was thinking that at least after 2 years I finally dare to make the first move. Even tough it was a simple conversation and it started off with a random talk, but it also signifies a good starting for our friendship.

The day after that, I met him at the corridor. It was during the lunch hour and the corridor was crowded with students, but I still managed to spot him out easily from the crowd. And the non-verbal communication that takes place between us at that moment was a simple and sweet "SMILE" on our face. It just happened within few seconds when we passed by each other, and may be it was just a simple face expression which does not mean anything to others, but to me, it signifies that he accepted our friendship ", And it also mean that both of us could actually still remember yesterday's conversation clearly and did what we had promised.

However after few weeks of non verbal communication that taken place between us, I was told by a friend of mine that he was "no longer available". At that moment, my heart was like experiencing a hard crash. I was so sad. I felt like I'm an idiot doing something foolish. I was sad not because he already "taken". It just simply beacuse I looks so stupid approaching someone who already had a partner. And he, probably will just see my approach as a joke. But after this incident, we tend to smile lesser to each other and even sometimes we will just pass by each other and pretend like we did not see each other. Even myself also don't know what causes things to changed, and why is this happening. And till now, we are still communicating with a smile. Nothing happened more than that, and not even another conversation.

But putting this aside, I was actually quite proud of myself for making the first move and starting the communication within us. I have a friend who always tells me that : "When things ended up in this way, you really cant help it. But, at least he did noticed you. And a smile had really signified a good start." THANKS, my friend ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

Not ANOTHER Maths?!

Another week has passed and once again I am attending my usual Tuesday's Marketing class. Somehow time progressed quickly during that full period. Soon, everyone was allowed to leave. I bid farewell to the presence that were next to me as she parts seperate ways. I then proceed to my following lecture which was Statistics. During the ongoing lecture, I was laid back and calm. The attention level was at its minimal as I was feeling tired and drained out for the day. Relaxed, I venture into the state of mind.

In life, there are ones who succeed and those who "fail". In business, people do "fail". In sports, people do "fail". Even in relationship, people do "fail". Almost in every aspect of life, there will bound to be failures.

A couple of years back I watched Jimi Hendrix playing guitar on tv, and he was having a blast. He made it look so easy. So, I thought I want to play the guitar. I grabbed my Dad and went to a guitar shop near our house. I thought it would be fun and challenging to get involved in playing guitar. Over a short period of time, I bought a classical guitar, a few training books and a DVD; having to cost at least RM700. A few weeks passed. I played terrible and hated the experience. I hated it primarily because I performed awfully and that made me very uncomfortable. I left the guitar at the corner of my store room and haven't played since, until a year later. I didn't blame the training books that fail to deliver the appropriate skills because I'm not playing victim. I know what happened. I didn't fail at playing the guitar; I quit. The fact I didnt performed to my expectation is very similar to someone not having immediate success in different aspects of life. What I'm sure of, is that every person who is a professional guitarist has had days where they didn't play to thier expectations. But they certainly didn't quit. They stick to it. Thier interest in guitar is greater then thier interest in quitting. The truth is, I didn't fail playing guitar. I quit playing guitar. All the millions and millions of people who have guitars in thier store room and aren't playing them now didn't fail at playing guitar either. They quit.

The true facts are, it takes no effort to quit. So when you hear that most people fail at a particular situation, picture all those golf clubs in people's garage, all the gym memberships that are inactive, all the inhome exercise equipment that has clothes hanging on them and haven't been used in months and all the musical intruments sitting unused in thier cases. If someone was to claim that most will fail if they enroll in a particular lecture or most don't make money in newtork marketing, ask them to put it into perspective and compare to all the other things people attempt to do. If they have integrity, they will say it isn't any different. Most people quit at everything. I picked up the guitar a year later and devoted myself into learning the basics. It wasn't perfect but I did well since. Just like anyone who has ever accomplish great things in thier life. The decision someone makes on the day they get involved or the day they start a business is not the important one. The important one is the decision they make when they realize what is it really going to take to succeed. Nike wouldn't pay Tiger Woods 100 million dollars to wear thier logo if he was only some ordinary golfer. Tiger is great because he worked his guts out. It isn't any different if one wants to succeed in anything. What one needs to learn to accomplish that in life is communication skills. And communication skills is just like a golf swing. Its something you learn NOT something you're born with. That's why its called a "skill". People don't fail at things. They quit before they learned the necessary skills to do them. So failing is never an option.

I was then reminded by a couple question that seems irrelevant when it is logically analyzed.
If I want to get fit, what are the odds that I actually will?
If I studied hard, what are the chances of me getting a HD in maths?
If I am nice, what are the odds of me scoring that girl?

HUH?
That seems like an irrelevant question to me. Why? Because:

• Odds has nothing to do with me getting off the couch and tossing that potato chips into the thrash.
• Odds has nothing to do with me studying hard and completing assignments.
• Odds has nothing to do with me being attentive to a particular girl.

Odds are incorrectly used when performance comes in where it may ALTER the chances.

If I roll a die, there is NO performance involved.So, what are the odds?
Someone can say the odds of rolling a 5 is 1/6.

or

If I flip a coin, there is NO performance involved.
So, the odds are 50/50 or 1/2.

HOWEVER

If I'm trying to putt a little white ball into a hole in a golf course, there is performance involved.If I'm trying to build a business, there's performance involved.If I'm trying to learn to play the guitar, there's performance involved.
Hence, odds cannot come into play.

A firm and yet familiar voice then interrupted me. I withdrew my thoughts and brought myself back to reality. It was my lecturer. I was required to answer a particular question given by her. However, I wasn't able to catch her full question as I wasn't being attentive. A short moment of silence follows and soon she herself gave the answer. Perhaps the unintended leak in my non-verbal communication clearly shows I wasn't following along with the class. After a brief moment, the class ended. As I walked through the corridor, a very intersting phrase seized my attention.

"Great Minds have Purpose, Little Minds have Wishes"

With that in mind, I smiled to myself and continued home.

Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~

Chemistry is the crazy form of getting it

Relationship without communication? It sounds like trying to swim without water in the pool. Relationship without non-verbal communication? It is even more like trying to swim through ice cube. Verbal communication is a necessary tool in any type of relationship but how about nonverbal communication? Does the ability of communication through body language and facial expressions play as a huge factor in a relationship?


Try to imagine, a gentle touch of strong hands that can be reassuring in times of doubt and indecision, a loving smile framed by eyes that peer into one's soul, warms the heart and evokes feelings of passion and sincere longing, the closeness of a caring caress and finally followed by a soft kiss. It obviously shows that the power of non-verbal communication is often taken for granted in the context of relationships.

Think about the last time you changed your mind about a restaurant or movie. Did the conversation also include a shy little smile, just the kind you like or a finger lightly trailing up your arm. Maybe you got you hair played with and the batting of her eyes. All of these actions are non-verbal, and are the things that really open up the lines of understanding.

We all know and recognize when someone is speaking. Lips are moving and breathing is choppy, but that's only the minority of it. Have you ever heard " Action speaks louder than word"? It can often express what words cannot, and communicates when words are inappropriate. It is a more sincere showing of how one feels, when the validity of one's verbal commitments are in question. The words "I love you" can sometimes feel empty without being accompanied by a kiss. Caring can become a void concept without the outward sharing of some physical interaction. The right words can aptly express how one feels, but an expression of affection through the use of non-verbal communication shows how one feels. At times, it could be as simple as holding hands.

Sometimes, the best way to make a person feel better or to simply let them know they're needed and loved is to kiss them on the forehead, give them a hug, make eye contact and smile or just touch their shoulder or rub their back. Motion, gestures and eye contact, however, never lie.

© the vanilla villain Vivian

Smile ",

What can you see from this picture. Did the scenery manage to catch your attention? Or are you looking at the birds? Well, the first message i got from this picture was the simley face formed by the 3 birds. Isn't it very beautiful ^^ Instead of observing many different smiley face on people, did the smiley face that appear during noon in the sky manage to impress you?

Smiling can act as a sign of language on a person's expression. It is also one of the facial expression that can appear not only on human, but also on an animal. A simple and sweet smile can actually bring different meanings to different people who interpret it. Meanings vary when you smile to a different people and people also tend to receive a different message from your smile. And there is no definite or particular way to interpret a smile.

1. A smile given after a person received a gift or a reward. It means THANK YOU!
2. Smile when you see you friends or lecturers. It means HELLO
3. Smile after a handshake from someone whom you first know. It means NICE TO MEET YOU!
4. Sometimes when you want to approach someone, start with a warm eye-contact combined with a smile. It's like hinting to the person, CAN WE BE FRIENDS?
5. Even when you are not listening to someone, do respond them with a smile. It means SORRY, I was not listening just now ==
6. When you enter a shop or restaurant, a smiley face from the waiter/ waitress/ cashier/ worker of the shop means WELCOME!
7. Smiling to your boyfriend/ girlfriend after a kiss. It means I LOVE YOU!

Smiling is like a beautiful magic attending a person's soul. Even without talking, a smile can also fully represent the untold feeling and words of yours. It can even be more wonderful when someone manage to gauge and receive the right message from your smile. It is nice to smile as it can also make people around you to feel happy and warm.

However, some people tend to blame others for not smiling. They will interpret those who don't smile as a snobbish, arrogant and even as an isolated person. This is actually a very bad perception that people could come out with. Can't they just try to put themselves in others' shoe and try to think of their feeling. May be that particular person just happened to be emo and in a bad mood that day, and we actually cant force them to smile. Even sometimes, it might just be a conincidence that the person did not see you and they didn't smile to you. You cant expect people to smile all the time even when they are alone?! And by that time when people see someone who smiles too often, they will actually address the person as a "psycho person".

In short, do enjoy observing the smiley face of people. Noticing the cheek dimples appearing on the smiley face, noticing them smiling with their mouth open and showing their teeth can actually make us feel happy. How about you? Have you smile today? Try throwing a "killer smile" to someone and you will know what wonderful effect it will bring ^^

cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn

DJ on Physics: when Effort (E) = Force (F)

Can Effort (E) = Force (F), the physics equation be related to life, the human communication of life. Does it give a positive value or does it in turn give a negative value? We are familiar with the way people accept and reject us. However, little attention is paid to whether or not that acceptance or rejection is due to the effort put in. But there will come a time where we’ll all come to a point of time where we ponder whether extra effort in a conversation will give bigger impact in communication, especially when it involves the people we treasure. It not only works for the people we care about, but it also works on everyone, regardless of who they are, and their status. For a competent speaker, the E matters a lot.

In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.

This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.

But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.

From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.

However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.

Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.

Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.

DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw

DJ on Honesty:~The longest Walk

80, 95, 78… it was the 1st semester of 5th Form examination as I could recall. Everybody was delighted to receive their Additional Mathematics results, while I on the other hand was on the opposite side of the river. Well, guess what? I was the last to receive. In fact, Mrs. Tay didn’t call out my name at all! Chiti-chiti Bang Bang! As I expected, she wanted to have a private chat with me. As I recalled, her tone was more than of a concerned and upset one than an angry one. The red ink on my paper showed 20….

The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.

I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.

It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.

I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.

Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.

What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.

That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….

DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw