Can Effort (E) = Force (F), the physics equation be related to life, the human communication of life. Does it give a positive value or does it in turn give a negative value? We are familiar with the way people accept and reject us. However, little attention is paid to whether or not that acceptance or rejection is due to the effort put in. But there will come a time where we’ll all come to a point of time where we ponder whether extra effort in a conversation will give bigger impact in communication, especially when it involves the people we treasure. It not only works for the people we care about, but it also works on everyone, regardless of who they are, and their status. For a competent speaker, the E matters a lot.
In physics, force is a vector quantity, which means that is has direction of propagation, taking that F1 + F2 =F3 (note: F is Force). When the F1 and F2 forces are acting in the same direction, the F3 would result in a bigger force. How ever, if the F1 and F2 are acting in a different direction, repulsion occurs, therefore, F3 will be a “0” value, or even a negative value. Therefore, if a positive F3 is desired, the force of either F1 or F2 has to be larger than the other in order to obtain a positive result.
This principle can be used in our life, taking F1 and F2 as the effort used of two people in a conversation, while the F3 represents the velocity of their conversation. To critically think it, the result of F3 greatly depends on the attitude of F1 and F2 in the conversation. If either one of them were to be less interested, the F3 , resultant force would be dissatisfactory. Therefore, F1 or F2 has to put in more effort if a good conversation were to be achieved. And the answer to why either F1 or F2 is less interested could be dependent on these few factors, namely tiredness, stress from work, conflict of interest and many more. To overcome this imbalanced equation, cracking a joke to ease the tension, or even talking about the subject’s interest and even listening extra hard would be a great catalyst. However, many a times, the less interested party fails to acknowledge the extra effort put in. But on the other hand, some might realize the extra F in the Equation and work extra hard to balance it, now this is the exception in our human “physics” world.
But bear in mind that realizing the imbalanced force in the equation might not lead to a positive integer. It could also bring about negative values. For instance, let’s take a boy chasing a girl for instance. Naturally, when a boy likes a girl, he would put in extra effort to make the girl happy. Now many a times, whether or not the girl is interested or not will affect the F3 resultant force. If it’s a yes, then F1+F2=F3, with F3 as a positive integer. But if it’s a no, then the extra effort might just remain at a “0” constant value, or it could backfire and travel done the negative line. So this proves that Effort doesn’t always = Force.
From the examples given above, it could be derived that F1 and F2 are independent of each other. F1 will do it’s part while F2 on the other hand would react to personal feelings and interest on F1. The F3 varies from situation to situation. If a positive value were to be obtained, we could be sure that the F3 would accelerate and increase in Velocity (V).
However, if a negative value were to be obtained, the situation is best handled by the potential contributor at that point of time. The rule states that in normal circumstances, F3 would either be a constant value, a “0” value or a negative value. But the exception is when F3 is a positive value and increasing.
However the situation maybe, or however the resultant force may be, the most important factor in a conversation equation is the willingness from both sides of the party to contribute and to give a chance to each other in a conversation. More chance= more open mindedness= higher chance of a high F3. And the equation can work the other way.
Effort (E) = Force (F) is an applicable physics concept in our human “physics” communication. The mechanism remains the same, but the subject varies, and so does the Resultant Force (F3). As how Einstein words it in his renowned second law of motion: “Every action has a reaction”.
Therefore the conclusion is:
· The Resultant force (F) in the case of F1 + F2= F3 is dependent on situational factors and personal contribution.
· The Effort (E) = Force (F) theory is proven workable in Human Communication.
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Sunday, May 31, 2009
DJ on Honesty:~The longest Walk
80, 95, 78… it was the 1st semester of 5th Form examination as I could recall. Everybody was delighted to receive their Additional Mathematics results, while I on the other hand was on the opposite side of the river. Well, guess what? I was the last to receive. In fact, Mrs. Tay didn’t call out my name at all! Chiti-chiti Bang Bang! As I expected, she wanted to have a private chat with me. As I recalled, her tone was more than of a concerned and upset one than an angry one. The red ink on my paper showed 20….
The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.
I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.
It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.
I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.
Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.
What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.
That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.
I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.
It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.
I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.
Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.
What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.
That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….
DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
A little closer to heaven
The morning was still gloomy. Sensing an early start to the day, I strecthed out my arms on to the nearby chair from my bed in order to reach out for my phone. I had to reassure myself on the current time. Unable to retrieve the phone in range, I pushed myself further until I had a grip on the smooth surface of the phone. The time shows 11.30 in the morning! At that moment, I was instantly reminded about the gathering at 1 in the afternoon. With the limited time, I rushed to prepare myself for the occasion.
Then there I stood at the gates of my former high-school, Victoria Institution. Surprisingly, the essence of time hasn't effected much on the school. The surrounding is still very familliar to me. I then proceed towards the school hall. On my way, I was interrupted with a couple of familiar voices and faces. A short talk and I was soon met up with my acquaintances. I was then invited by my friend, Jacky to enquire about a part job nearby Pavillion. However, I was to be brought alone there. I accepted the invite. An hour passed, I had to part ways with my aquaintances for the period but was to be reunited for a movie at 5 in the evening.
Eventually, I was infront of the building where the company was after a long walk. I was debriefed by my friend on the way regarding the job. However, suspicion starts to rise when a couple of my questions were intendedly avoided or covered by similar, unrelated answers. According to him, I was brought there to learn more about the company. At the entrance, I was introduced to an attractive young lady. Hazel was her name. I asked more in detail and was enlightened to know that she's only 19 and a college student working for the company. Curiosity still clouded my mind as I still do not have any idea on the work that I'm supposed to deal with. Infact, the company name was also absent from my knowledge.
THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS!
Soon, I was lead by her into the office lobby. There, I was introduced to the company name and a brief history on it. DHCL/SYN was the company's name and the products? Estabel and Lampe Berger. The company was quite familiar to me. Its one of those multi-level marketing operating companies. That company itself has scamming related issues from what I've heard. In addition to that, MLM equals to network marketing which also equals to pyramid system which is already doomed by its organizational structure. The product is not the incentive to join an MLM. Its more of an excuse to attempt to legitimate the real money-making scheme through expansion. It's practically "the cover" to make it seem legal.
Later, I was asked about my knowledge on network marketing. I was entertained by the play so I tagged along the game and told her that this would be my first time hearing that. Next, I was brought for a tour on the variety of products ranging from RM 300 to RM 85,000! Not forgetting the nicely designed spa with a touch of French interior. I was then brought into another office and was followed up with 2 hours of lecture with her boyfriend, Farez. Thier persuasive skills? Excellent. Presentation skills? Outstanding. Manipulative Skills? Top-notch. An entertaining play of how communication is able to twist your mind and deteriorate your judgement. They played with the big cash and roll with the nice cars to create an impression that will hook any regular teens. I was constantly reminded not to look at the big figure as the "model" to start the business. Instead, to focus more on the large sums of gain in the very near future. To make the plot even more real, I was pointed to several fancy car's nearby which was claimed to be the owned by members of the company. The car ranges from Nissan Fairlady, Mazda Rx8 to an unknown Ferrari.
If it wasn't for the knowledge of the company, I would have been absorbed into buying "the dream" plan. All I had to do for that moment was forcefully smile myself on some of the sweet and thoughtful remarks. I was then plague with the thought that my friend might be a victim of the scheme. Later on the night, I was invited for a treat. A "yum cha" session tomorrow with my friend, the both of them and few other ones which I met there. Accepting the quick and seemingly generous offer? Thats for you to figure out. ;)
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
Friday, May 29, 2009
Cherish
Could you remember when was the last time you had actually lean on your parents arm and listening them talking softly to you? When was the last time you threw a tantrum to your parents and acting like a pampered child? AND when was the last time you had actually tell you parents that you love them? Are all these memories still remain in your brain or even in a corner of your heart.
As we grow older, the "rate of forgetting" in a person will increase. People tempt to forget many things that had happened, no matter how important it was to us or how much we cherished it in the past. Sometimes, even though u tired hard to recall what was the missing part, you just could not recall anything. And parents, siblings, friends and teachers will tend to put the blame on us and condemn a lot about our memory power. However memory and our tendencies to forget things are happening beyond what we can control.
God created every living things on this earth. And all of the living things have their own life-cycle. God had also created us to be born under our recent family and people we meet in our life now are believed to be destined by God. There is a saying "The person you had met in your life now will actually be a passer by in your next life; while the passers by in your life now could actually plays an important role in your next life." Have you heard of it before and what you think about it? Well, for me it's not a superstitious believe but I will not 100% believe in it. And I could rationally tell that this might happened, but it might just be a conincidence.
However I always bear this sayings in mind to remind me to cherish everything and everyone that appears in my life. I understand that in my next life, I probably will not have the same family members beside to support me anymore; I would not have the same gang of friends that could spend time with anymore. And everyone around us will be playing a different role in the next life-cycle. Therefore we should treasure the people and things around us. Moreover, none of us will know what will happen tomorrow or even few weeks later. Mishaps and incidents could occur anytime and bring away the live of someone we loves.
Well, it's still not too late to cherish your friends, lecturers, your love ones, and especially your family members starting from tomorrow. Just bear in mind and perform the action of "CHerish". Or else time flies by, people passes by and by that time it is too late for you to regret.
And to my other companions that have been posting about relatioship recently "~ Do cherish your love ones and people who love you ",
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Ends with a smile
This is a post for someone that I made a deal with.
Few days ago, I was looking through my personal blog about whatever that I had written down in the past. Looked back to the stories in my life especially high school memories that I miss a lot and I realized that high school is the place for most of us to discover every new thing. I entered the school without a single friend when i was form 1. Well,the beginning of the high school life was scary for me because everyone seemed to have their own group and I was this lost kid. Fortunately, I managed to make few friends from my class and then followed by other classes. People say it is hard to get close friends in high school but i think is even harder to leave them, and impossible to forget them especially you have been hanging out together with them during school time and outings. It is like one day we'll wave hello, and wish we never had to say good-bye. All of us started out as total strangers in the same school and ended as friends.
I have this friend, a very close friend of mine now. I cannot remember how we met each other because he was this little shy boy that did not talk much or I should say I barely see him talk. We started to talk and hang out when we were form 2 because we were in the same club and I had my moral class at his classroom. Besides, I always walked to his class for my friends after recesses or classes and of course I talked to him before I went back to my class. Things were a little bit different when we were in form 3, rumours like who like who started to spread around so we ended up to be a couple and we kept it low so that others will not know about. However, eveyone found out which I do know how. I guess because the shcool is not that big, everyone knows everyone especailly it comes to gossip. Anyway, we broke up after PMR.
Sad huh?
Personally, I do not think so. It is true to say that it was very awkward after that because we were in the same class in form 4 and we did not talk much after broke up. However, we managed to avoid the awkward thing between us. So we were back to last time, close friend again, even closer than the past! Still, some of my friends kept on telling me stuff like "you guys look good together, dont waste it" and of course nothing happen in between. Eventually, I figured it there is not anything between us other than frinedship after a very long time. I was very happy about the conclusion that I made it because I took a long time to figure it out.
I got to admit that he is a good listener. We talk about everything as in everything like lame jokes, problems and so on. Always patiently listen to me whenever I cannot deal stuff by myself and give advices as well. A very caring friend for everyone because he will never dump you alone at anywhere. Trust me, I made him to go shopping with me by telling what if I went missing if I take cap alone or all kind of crap and it works! Now, he thinks that I'm very good at making others to feel guilty by stories, haha. I am really glad that he found his loved one now, everyone is very happy for them because they been through a lot before they reached the point.
See, we are close friends now. I have seen my friends do not even care about their exes once they are done with each other which I do not think is a good way. It is always better to have a friend instead of stranger. Listening and communicating with each other help in a way.
© the vanilla villain Vivian
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Interesting
Class was conducted differently for the "Human Communication" lecture session yesterday. It was Mr. James who temporarly conducted the class. He did a good job on enlightening everyone about ADVERTISING and what mass communication is roughly about. It was interesting and informative. I do gain a lot from him throughout the 1 and 1/2 hours ^^ And the best thing is, it managed to inspire me to post something here on the blog regarding "ADVERTISING".
I would like to share with you a creative advertisement which I found on the INTERNET. And guess what, yesterday MR James mentioned that in Malaysia advertisement, "exposing Armpits" are prohibited. Weird right ?! I was quite surprised to hear that too "~
Advertising its actually a word that has been used and mentioned quite commonly among everyone of us. But it actually have many meanings and elaboration behind it. It could also be related to many kind of things around us. And Mr. James yesterday related advertising to "BRAND", and after his further explanation I do understand how can these two words can be closely related to each other.
However, I think many of us probably will have the wrong perception and rigid thinking on advertisement. We often will feel suspicious about the truthfulness of a particular advertisement. But ADVERTISEMENT is actually a part of mass comuunication. They are exist to introduce products and things to people who needed them. Electronic and printed media could actually make their plans work.
Talking about advertising had actually reminds me about a conversation occured in a taiwan drama "STARLIT", which I think it could clearly define advertising. This is how the conversation like : - "Advertisement is actually not meant to promote or sell products. They are exist to fulfill people's dreams and to provide people with their desires. Moreover, every advertisement acutally have the objective to exploit people's need. They are trying to express different necessity in people and providing people with the things they desired. And perhaps providing people with the things they desired will be the most happy and wonderful act in the universe."
So the next time when u see a billboard or an advertisement on TV or papers, do stop by and spend time reading it. Try to discover what are they trying to advertise beacause it might be advertising something that u desired. And perhaps they are able to make your dream comes true. Do appreciate the hardwork and effort of a creative director ^^
I would like to share with you a creative advertisement which I found on the INTERNET. And guess what, yesterday MR James mentioned that in Malaysia advertisement, "exposing Armpits" are prohibited. Weird right ?! I was quite surprised to hear that too "~
Advertising its actually a word that has been used and mentioned quite commonly among everyone of us. But it actually have many meanings and elaboration behind it. It could also be related to many kind of things around us. And Mr. James yesterday related advertising to "BRAND", and after his further explanation I do understand how can these two words can be closely related to each other.However, I think many of us probably will have the wrong perception and rigid thinking on advertisement. We often will feel suspicious about the truthfulness of a particular advertisement. But ADVERTISEMENT is actually a part of mass comuunication. They are exist to introduce products and things to people who needed them. Electronic and printed media could actually make their plans work.
Talking about advertising had actually reminds me about a conversation occured in a taiwan drama "STARLIT", which I think it could clearly define advertising. This is how the conversation like : - "Advertisement is actually not meant to promote or sell products. They are exist to fulfill people's dreams and to provide people with their desires. Moreover, every advertisement acutally have the objective to exploit people's need. They are trying to express different necessity in people and providing people with the things they desired. And perhaps providing people with the things they desired will be the most happy and wonderful act in the universe."
So the next time when u see a billboard or an advertisement on TV or papers, do stop by and spend time reading it. Try to discover what are they trying to advertise beacause it might be advertising something that u desired. And perhaps they are able to make your dream comes true. Do appreciate the hardwork and effort of a creative director ^^
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
A darker day..
Until a recent point, life was progressing in order in align with my personal expectations. Contented with the moment, I tried making the best for myself and for the ones I know. Unexpected by the complexity that was bound to occur, I was moving on in life effortlessly. However, that was about to change. 25th May 09; the mark of a period of sorrow. It was 8.53 in the night when a sudden beep on my phone interupts my tv programme. Uncertain and peculiar on whom it may be, I rushed towards my phone. At that instant, my soul slides away just with the sight of the sender. It was my ex.
It all started on the first month of this year. Infact it was just after the Christmas and New Year celebrations when it begin. During then, we will exchange texts through our phone for hours. Myself being the more playful one, while she, the humble and sweet one. I was captivated by the moment. I was in what would most call "love". Soon enough, she initiated the starting move with the request to be together or remain friends. At that moment, I couldn't refuse the more favorable offer. So I made the choice that seemed right. However, she was inclined towards speaking Mandarin while English was my mother tongue. Nevertheless, it was all good. That was the only flaw. Everything else was perfect.
Soon, she applied for a full-time job at a pyramid-shaped mall. It was a convience for her as she was living across the road. I was reassured by her that everything will remain the same. Things did. All the outings we shared was at the same venue which was at her working place. It was only a few weeks later where she got busy. Unsatisfied, I seek advice from associates. Perhaps doing so caused my judgement to sway from reality. One thing was in mind; a breakup. Pending my abrupt decision, I placed effort to construct a better relationship than the current. However, condition remained the same. Being pressured, I made the bold move; somewhere in March. It was only fair for me to end what she had started. Trying to ease the current condition, I suggest being back to just friends. Unfortunately, she was not in mind with me.
She was saddened over the inevitable situation. So was I. The first two weeks after that was a huge downfall in life. Without fail, a text with only the phrase "I miss u" was left by her through the phone messaging system. Feeling even more distraughted by that, I avoided her in any way possible. The occurance of the same text reappearing became less and less. Nonetheless, from time to time, it still occurs. When it does, I would ask about her welfare and the reason to her texts which will then be followed by short arguments. Replies were always the same; bad state and more of the same phrase. She left her job and started college soon. It was then I stopped hearing from her. Gradually, I proceed with life and regained my light back. Everything was going accordingly until her recent text haunts me again. I replied and told her about my first blog. However, as usual, a few replies and then argument follows. I know she would be reading this. And when you do, I hope you can leave me alone as promised. Perhaps an alternate crosshair will be the best for me, where then, I will only be a shot away from that particular one ;). With that, I end my worries along with my post.
*Done by request*
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sit still, Shut up and Listen
Have you ever found yourself saying "uh huh" or " I'm sorry,what did you say " when one is talking to you or being annoyed by others that are doing that to you as well? Do you know that people can always find out whether you are not listening to them or not through your actions like distractions from a mobile phone, interruptions or even shifty eyes.
Talked to your loved one about some difficulty you were having and the respond you got back was " I don't know what to tell you "? This kind of respond that will make you to feel isolated, neglected, or even abandoned at times. This is exactly why one of the leading complaints in relationships is that one partner feels the other is not listening to them or their needs?
We all want to talk but so few wish to listen. We always think that we are a good communicator. In order to communicate effectively, we have to be able listen what the speaker says. These days we lay so much emphasis on the intellect that we are close our heart and remove the beating moment to moment in our life because we are not listening anymore.
Try to imagine, how would you feel if you are truly listened by someone when you talk about what you wanted? The feeling of being cared about, important and understood. Listeners give responds like " Keep going, I enjoy listening to you ", " I want to hear it more ", loved. " What's your opinion ", " What do you think " or allows the speaker finishes his talk and wait for a while before you reply, respected. The important of listening is this!
While listening seems to constitute half of any conversation, I strongly believe that listening is the most important part of any communication. Always remember, listening is the key for any kind of successful relationship.
© the vanilla villain Vivian
DJ on Goodbye: Genuinely Special
“A goodbye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.” Goodbye messages could be conveyed through speech, songs, and actions and even on written materials like cards. Some may experience a painful one; some sorrowful; some are more than happy; most of us, casual. What took place last Friday was genuinely special to me.
My calendar marked 22nd of May, 2009. The time on my watch on my right hand read 0230 hrs. “There goes another scout camp” I said to myself as Daniel and I made our way to our HMC Leadership Camp camper’s spot. A Daniel and I were making our way down to the lower foyer of campus; we observe a pool of people. Some are campers, some are non-campers. Well, the honest, there was a group of friends waiting to bid goodbye, but I could clearly spot one alone. As soon as my eyes caught hers, a smiled took shape with a wave following behind it. She did the same in resonance.
To start off with, we didn’t say much to each other. We just kept smiling to each other. Our language was non-verbal, convergent in a way that only we understood it was on a high note; we were just delighted to see each other, at least which apply to me. It truly meant something to me, it was sweet. And I believe anyone who has been in my position would agree on this as well. The whole scene itself was a language to me that says, “See you soon, ok? Do take care.” We managed to have a group photo before we campers were ushered to the hall for briefing.
As I turned to say goodbye, just before I walk on and never look back, I saw her waving. The sight of her standing still, waving with a smile was just enough to melt me like a candle wax. There were no physical contact, no hand shake, no our usual high five. Just a wave and that was enough. The effort to be there was just significant already.
I think that you don’t need to say much to express what’s on the inside. Human communication does not only involve speech, which is verbal communication, but also emotion, which falls under non-verbal communication. All you need to do is to be psychologically in tuned to the same frequency. That way, any messages could be sent and would not be perceived wrongly. And with the same understood language as an enhancement to communication? You can be sure to avoid any form of communication break down.
When I came out, all my friends weren’t there anymore; she wasn’t there either. Well, she had a class to catch, all in all we’re all students. At anytime, studies overwrite what comes next. I understood that perfectly well. Besides, we’re just good friends at the moment. Anything extra is just the extended version of it.
It’s special to know that you have friends that appreciate you, and be there when you need them to be. And it’s even special when that someone special to you does the same thing. Human Communication is just a mystery. In this case, it’s pure special. What happened that day was just indescribable. The best I could come up with is just ‘Genuinely Special’.
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
DJ on Language:~awkwardly sweet~
Hollywood made it easy to express, the wedding cards gives you the impression that it is the easiest thing to say, contemporary songs made it colossally easy to song it out.
Have you ever tried expressing the most unpretentious phrase to a person you really like? However it may seem, it certainly proved to be the most abstruse expression I have ever attempted to project.
Some may ask, “Is this the first time you’re telling a girl? Chill brother! You? Being nervous? This isn’t you at all…” hmm… come to think of it, it’s quite true to say that it’s really my first time falling for some one for what she really is. Did I fall for her looks? It’s very fake of me to say no either. I believe that the majority settle for looks at the very first place before considering other factors, as people takes what is most obvious to them. However, you can never judge a book by its cover. You have to flip it, read it, and even understand it. As how Bacon would put it, “Some books are to be tasted others to be swallowed and a few to be chewed and digested.”
Saying that “I like you phrase” may be as ABC to some, but trust me, it’s more like XYZ to me, especially when you don’t have psychic to tell whether it will back fire or not. I’ll have all these “pre-telling” trauma like “Will she ignore me after telling her?”, “Is this an ill time to tell her?” Well folks, read on to see whether I had a happy ending!
Lunch on Thursdays is always extraordinary. For some reason, I always look forward to Thursdays. You know, back in high school, you will get a lousy schedule with your least favorite subjects in it that makes you go “God, it’s Thursday again!!!” But it all change in college, not to mention I only have 1 Human Communication class on that day. And lunch with her on every Thursday? It was the bonus that I wouldn’t as too much for!
Even as casual friends, I would bring lunch and we’ll share it. Please don’t get me wrong. We’re not eating from the same bowl, but divide it of course! Occasionally, she’ll do the rice, while I do the vegetables. What I’m trying to say is that we put the same amount of effort to our friendship, and that’s part of human communication as well.
To cut long story short, I planned to tell her that 3 word phrase on that particular Thursday. The question is how? Well, I had my plan A ready at the back of my hand. I actually planned to tell her on our way to a Korean Embassy event, after lunch. Well, at least I knew how the flow went.
We had a great chat that day during lunch. Then, we were supposed to catch a campus coach to attend the Korean Embassy event in Renaissance Hotel, but we missed the bus… Good Lord, now that the bus Is gone, I have no choice but to scrape plan A, which was to tell her on the bus!! What is more? I don’t have a plan B at all!!
So we headed to the computer lab to study for marketing quiz which was about to happen in a few days time. We have a campus online learning portal. So notes are available anytime. Well, guess what? She went on Facebook instead of studying, how hilarious is that? What a way to “study”, right?
At that point of time, I knew that opportunity is here. She isn’t pressured in any how; she’s online on Facebook, which means she’s free! So I had to find a perfect reason to lure her out of lab so that I could at least tell her in private. At least with that reason, our conversation wouldn’t sound too random, which of course would back fire if it’s done wrongly. Guess what was my perfect reason? My perfect reason was to buy her ice cream, which I had promise her that I would in the past. “Every strong chain has it’s weakest point; every ‘perfect’ reason has its perfect loophole.” And the perfect ice cream just turned into a blast-cream, because she wasn’t in the mood for it!
Well, by God’s grace another chance came. I wasn’t skeptical about chances, because it was all I ever had. So we were waiting for a friend in our campus corridor. We continued to chat as we were waiting. And the worst thing could ever happen just did happen! We were just topic- less.
I was lost for words! That’s the worst thing that you would ever expect from me. A part time Emcee and a hyperactive friend who could never keep his mouth shut just lost for words all of a sudden? I guess this is what they call psychology noise in human communication. To observe silence in the library is fine, but to observe silence after a conversation about “what kind of guys do you like” is not fine at all. Trust me, it was dead awkward.
I couldn’t remember how silent I was, but what I remember was the struggle to tell her, which I think she felt it too. To my surprise, just before I could open my mouth, she sprung up to me and told me that she knew what I was about to do all along. Well, she wasn’t awkward in a negative way when she said that to me. Instead, she was smiling, but awkward at the same time. At least I know that I’m not in for rejection. She then continued saying that she feels comfortable with the way things are, which was being friends at the moment, and might consider taking a step-up in the near future. I perfectly understood how she felt, and some things just cannot be pressured. What more? I can afford to wait for we are going to do the same course in our degree. I did explain to her that I didn’t mean to push her and hope that this wouldn’t affect our friendship. And she took it well. Till date, we agreed that we’re doing very well as friends and hope that things will not change for the worst. The least expected question from her was “you’ll wait for me, right?” What do you expect me to say? Yes, of course. I truly thank God that I wasn’t shot flat face down.
It only took 3 minutes of my entire life to express. Even though the wait would take up to more than God knows how many years, but that 3 minutes seems to be much longer compared to the wait. Time take? 3 minutes. Number of people involved? 2 people. Location? Our campus corridor. The language used? Awkwardly sweet.
At 5pm, just before she turned her back and leave for the exit that I normally walk her to, I looked at her and said with my awkwardly sweet tone, “I’ll wait for you!”
Have you ever tried expressing the most unpretentious phrase to a person you really like? However it may seem, it certainly proved to be the most abstruse expression I have ever attempted to project.
Some may ask, “Is this the first time you’re telling a girl? Chill brother! You? Being nervous? This isn’t you at all…” hmm… come to think of it, it’s quite true to say that it’s really my first time falling for some one for what she really is. Did I fall for her looks? It’s very fake of me to say no either. I believe that the majority settle for looks at the very first place before considering other factors, as people takes what is most obvious to them. However, you can never judge a book by its cover. You have to flip it, read it, and even understand it. As how Bacon would put it, “Some books are to be tasted others to be swallowed and a few to be chewed and digested.”
Saying that “I like you phrase” may be as ABC to some, but trust me, it’s more like XYZ to me, especially when you don’t have psychic to tell whether it will back fire or not. I’ll have all these “pre-telling” trauma like “Will she ignore me after telling her?”, “Is this an ill time to tell her?” Well folks, read on to see whether I had a happy ending!
Lunch on Thursdays is always extraordinary. For some reason, I always look forward to Thursdays. You know, back in high school, you will get a lousy schedule with your least favorite subjects in it that makes you go “God, it’s Thursday again!!!” But it all change in college, not to mention I only have 1 Human Communication class on that day. And lunch with her on every Thursday? It was the bonus that I wouldn’t as too much for!
Even as casual friends, I would bring lunch and we’ll share it. Please don’t get me wrong. We’re not eating from the same bowl, but divide it of course! Occasionally, she’ll do the rice, while I do the vegetables. What I’m trying to say is that we put the same amount of effort to our friendship, and that’s part of human communication as well.
To cut long story short, I planned to tell her that 3 word phrase on that particular Thursday. The question is how? Well, I had my plan A ready at the back of my hand. I actually planned to tell her on our way to a Korean Embassy event, after lunch. Well, at least I knew how the flow went.
We had a great chat that day during lunch. Then, we were supposed to catch a campus coach to attend the Korean Embassy event in Renaissance Hotel, but we missed the bus… Good Lord, now that the bus Is gone, I have no choice but to scrape plan A, which was to tell her on the bus!! What is more? I don’t have a plan B at all!!
So we headed to the computer lab to study for marketing quiz which was about to happen in a few days time. We have a campus online learning portal. So notes are available anytime. Well, guess what? She went on Facebook instead of studying, how hilarious is that? What a way to “study”, right?
At that point of time, I knew that opportunity is here. She isn’t pressured in any how; she’s online on Facebook, which means she’s free! So I had to find a perfect reason to lure her out of lab so that I could at least tell her in private. At least with that reason, our conversation wouldn’t sound too random, which of course would back fire if it’s done wrongly. Guess what was my perfect reason? My perfect reason was to buy her ice cream, which I had promise her that I would in the past. “Every strong chain has it’s weakest point; every ‘perfect’ reason has its perfect loophole.” And the perfect ice cream just turned into a blast-cream, because she wasn’t in the mood for it!
Well, by God’s grace another chance came. I wasn’t skeptical about chances, because it was all I ever had. So we were waiting for a friend in our campus corridor. We continued to chat as we were waiting. And the worst thing could ever happen just did happen! We were just topic- less.
I was lost for words! That’s the worst thing that you would ever expect from me. A part time Emcee and a hyperactive friend who could never keep his mouth shut just lost for words all of a sudden? I guess this is what they call psychology noise in human communication. To observe silence in the library is fine, but to observe silence after a conversation about “what kind of guys do you like” is not fine at all. Trust me, it was dead awkward.
I couldn’t remember how silent I was, but what I remember was the struggle to tell her, which I think she felt it too. To my surprise, just before I could open my mouth, she sprung up to me and told me that she knew what I was about to do all along. Well, she wasn’t awkward in a negative way when she said that to me. Instead, she was smiling, but awkward at the same time. At least I know that I’m not in for rejection. She then continued saying that she feels comfortable with the way things are, which was being friends at the moment, and might consider taking a step-up in the near future. I perfectly understood how she felt, and some things just cannot be pressured. What more? I can afford to wait for we are going to do the same course in our degree. I did explain to her that I didn’t mean to push her and hope that this wouldn’t affect our friendship. And she took it well. Till date, we agreed that we’re doing very well as friends and hope that things will not change for the worst. The least expected question from her was “you’ll wait for me, right?” What do you expect me to say? Yes, of course. I truly thank God that I wasn’t shot flat face down.
It only took 3 minutes of my entire life to express. Even though the wait would take up to more than God knows how many years, but that 3 minutes seems to be much longer compared to the wait. Time take? 3 minutes. Number of people involved? 2 people. Location? Our campus corridor. The language used? Awkwardly sweet.
At 5pm, just before she turned her back and leave for the exit that I normally walk her to, I looked at her and said with my awkwardly sweet tone, “I’ll wait for you!”
DJ online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A - Demons
Weekend laid in silently signifying the end of another hectic week. Since the starting of the week, everyone should be awaiting for these 2days holiday to come. Over the weekend, most people enjoy doing things at a leisurely pace. Somehow, there were people who will choose to spend their weekend by taking a good rest at home without going anywhere, or just hang out with friends, go for a tea break, chit chat around; or even go for a 2days vacation. Well everyone should be able to understand how relaxing it can be, because all of us had gone through it before. And all these activities not only can help us to spend our weekend meaningfully, it can also help us to improve relationship between the people around us.
On FRIDAY night, my cousin and I decided to go for a movie. It was the the latest movie which have been surrounded by hype for weeks and it have been leading the big box office numbers. The movie started at 11.55pm and ended at about 2.30am midnight that day. Although it was a late night movie but the cinema were surprisingly crowded with people. Well, throughout the show as what I had noticed everyone were awake for the 2 and 1/2 hours and were totally into the show. "Angels & Demons" which is the prequel to movie "Da Vinci Code" was filmed based upon the bestselling novel by Dan Brown. Tom Hanks, Evan McGregor and Ayelet Zurer are the 3leading character that starred in ths movie. The storyline of A-Demons revolves around the Catholic and it was mainly about the few murder case that happened continuosly in the Catholic ruled city, Vatican City,Italy.
In this movie, Tom Hanks who was palying his role as Harvard religious expert Robert Langdon was invited by the priest to Vatican itself to investigate why four of their cardinals, who are in line to become the next pope, have disappeared and are in danger of being executed. He uses his thorough knowledge of Catholic history and putting his own best effort helping the priest to solve the cases. He was assisted by the scientist, Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer) throughout the case investigation.
I really enjoyed watching this movie and I find that it's worthful for me to sacrifice my sleeping hours and go for a movie that is such interesting, mysterious and adventurous as this. It is an entertaining and informative movie. Besides that, the movie do shows a bit cruelty in the way the few pope were torchured and murdered. On the other hand, male sidekick, Carmelango Patrick McKenna ( Ewan McGregor ) managed to leave a good impression in my mind although at the end of the movie, after the truth was revealed he was found out to be the protagonist in this movie. The scene of his that had impressed me in this movie is when he was told that the bomb were unable to be stopped, he immediately responded by grabbing the particles bomb, rush out of the St. Peter church, went on a helicopter, drove it to the sky alone, letting the bomb to explode in the air and finally managed to save himself by landing down with a parachute. Tears coming out from my eyes as I watched his act as a hero in this scene. Well I think if u had watched this movie probably you will have the same feeling as me too ^^
All in all, I think everyone should spend time watching this movie. Hopefully that you would enjoy watching it and able to learn something from it too like me.
cdv*p* - *pOLy* YEN YUN LiAn
If you can't, then you must
It was sharp 5 in the evening. With the hope of being welcomed by friendly aquintances, I rooted myself on to a nearby bench. None was familiar in sight. Enduring the moment of silence and loneliness, I tried keeping my cool intact. 15 minutes has pass. Only to find myself exchanging glances with passerby's, I walked myself towards the bookstore in hoping for a more appropraite way to kill time. The books were neatly arranged according to thier types. Unattracted by the religion, leisure and novel category, I found myself heading towards the self-help section. Being the minority ones in the particular section, I helped myself into selecting any books that I find intriguing. I then picked up a book entitled, "Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't". The long title seemed to have caught my attention. Curious with the content, I took my time to investigate the details within.
Including myself, there are friends of mine who failed over, and over again. Often, I wonder what's the difference that seperates us from someone successful. Apparently, the explanation to that was we are not taking the right actions. Success can be anything we want to achieve, from a long-lasting relationship to a professional carrier. While the more recognizable ones for a college student would be getting that good grades or impressing that secret crush.
We all have this fear of failing, the fear of rejection, fear of humuliation, and even more fears to live with. We generate this fears in order to save our faces. But see it through my point of view. If we do not start taking action now, there may not be a chance later on in life and we might live to regret it. We only live once, so what's there to lose? A question for all of us to rethink and reconsider; are you going to let these fears hold you back?
Making that first step can be tough. We might have to deal with failures along the way, but let it not discourage you as every failure is a step towards success. Give in your all and your success is just a matter of time. Without action, by default, you are letting life take control over you. Face your fears by taking action now and watch your life unfold the way it should.
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
(Prior to language week, visit this 2 link to 2 malay songs I which I thought was pretty amazing, both by Peter Pan)
http://www.imeem.com/yappoz/music/QA5XZCnL/peterpan-tak-bisakah/
http://www.imeem.com/honeydew/music/cPuhICwW/peter-pan-peter-pan-mungkin-nanti/
Saturday, May 23, 2009
You're not sorry
One used to tell me " Past is a History which you cannot change it anymore, Tomorrow is a Mystery which you cannot predict, Today is a gift and we called it as the Present, the only day that you can a plan and make a different in your life. " Time flies because today is the second last week of May, how many of us really live in the present? Enjoying himself without looking back to the past? It is hard to think about the present when you know that you did something hurtful to someone in the past.
I'm sorry, the sentence that commonly misused by everyone nowadays. Ok, it is right to say " I'm sorry " when you did something wrong but do you really mean it when you say "I'm sorry" to the other party? A lot of people use it without knowing the true meaning. It is just a habit for them to say "I'm sorry" no matter what happen without realizing that by saying this sentence means that you are really apologizing.
When we become aware of all the little things around, we make a conscious approach to every activity, we unable ourselves to mindful activity. Being mindful of everything, we will put an end to this shallow way of saying sorry.
For me, sorry means Sincerely Offers an apology Right from my heart when I Realized I did something that hurt You.
I guess sometimes we do not realize how many people we hurt per day but humans do make mistake. So to avoid saying "I'm sorry", we should not do anything that will lead us to feel regretful.
I'm sorry, the sentence that commonly misused by everyone nowadays. Ok, it is right to say " I'm sorry " when you did something wrong but do you really mean it when you say "I'm sorry" to the other party? A lot of people use it without knowing the true meaning. It is just a habit for them to say "I'm sorry" no matter what happen without realizing that by saying this sentence means that you are really apologizing.
- Being cruel to someone, say "I'm sorry"
- Late for meeting, say "I'm sorry"
- Unwilling to help people that need help, say "I'm sorry"
When we become aware of all the little things around, we make a conscious approach to every activity, we unable ourselves to mindful activity. Being mindful of everything, we will put an end to this shallow way of saying sorry.
For me, sorry means Sincerely Offers an apology Right from my heart when I Realized I did something that hurt You.
I guess sometimes we do not realize how many people we hurt per day but humans do make mistake. So to avoid saying "I'm sorry", we should not do anything that will lead us to feel regretful.
© the vanilla villain Vivian
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
RAINBOW ",
Sunshine showered the Earth, cracking the silence that has been remained through the night, first dew fall on the leaves, and it signifies a good starting of a day. I reluctantly crawl out from the bed and started to prepare myself for the day.
While I was on the way heading to college, I was staring at the sky and thinking bout something else. The RAINBOW that appears on the sky this morning managed to catch my attention ^^ It brightened my mood and inspires me.
While I was on the way heading to college, I was staring at the sky and thinking bout something else. The RAINBOW that appears on the sky this morning managed to catch my attention ^^ It brightened my mood and inspires me.
Well, what will you think of if you see a rainbow? Good signs? Religious and cultural background? Or what else more? Well, it's actually very rare for us to see a rainbow. And perhaps you can hardly see one. Now lets try to flash through your memory and try to recall. When was the last time u seen a rainbow? Is it like few years ago or is it when you were a kid ... Or may be people like us who live in a city will never bothered to notice what are the things appearing outside the window. And probably most of us will always have the same excuse - We are too busy to be bothered my those sorts of things @@ Oopsy ... Did I speak out what you have in your mind right now "~
Rainbow is actually defined as an meteorological phenomenon. It will only appear in the sky when the Sun shines onto droplets of moisture. However, if you were to ask some christians about what rainbow means to them. They might tell you that rainbow best symbolises Christianity and it also have the same importance as "The Cross". For them RAINBOW is a sign of God's greatest promise to the human kind: that of forgiveness and love. This is the real significance behind the rainbow which you will never know ^^
However, "Meaning Lies in People, Not Words". For me, RAINBOW symbolises good sign. It makes me thinks that well it will be my lucky day today. And also hoping that many great things and great people will be there to lighten my day and bring happiness to me.
Moreover, I will have a good mood for the whole day if I see a rainbow. Even the weather also can easily affect my mood. It's just because I felt that I have a special connection with the nature and I simply enjoys the beauty of nature. I love to be with nature and I think that the GOD had done an awesome job of creating this universe. God created a chain between all living things on the earth and each of them have their own responsibility on maintaining the balance of ecosystem. And finally I came out with a POLY'S formula which is :-
Flora+Fauna+Me+You+They(Human Beings)=UNIVERSE !!!
Cool "? But do you agree with me ?! ", Haha. Anyway everyone could have their interpretation and perception on rainbow.
So the next time when you see a RAINBOW please think that you are lucky beacuse you have a chance to see it! And it signifies the good starting of your day and who knows it might bring luck to you throughout the day.
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I Am Tall..
Swine flu breakout. A very familiar phrase that has been widely circulated over the media for the past weeks. Without much concern, that was no surprise to me. Not feeling my best since the weekends, I was brought to believe that I may be a victim soon. Thoughts then came into my mind. I wasn't ready to depart. As much topics I have to blog in the future, I have even more to read. Then, I was to face something even more familiar to me. College. Academic excellence has constantly been a reminder of every parents to thier child. Being able to perform well in studies is the aim of every student and the dream of any parents. Some live up to meet that expectation while the others don't. For me, I remained. Like most teens, I had learn to adapt with the usual routine over time.
The day started off with the regular orientation. Enlightened with the humour during Human Communication class, I then proceed to my following lecture. Soon enough, I was already in my final class of the day. Statistics, as uninteresting as it sounds, I was still able to cast my eyes on the white screen until the class ended. While waiting at the bus-stop, I was blank and without emotion. Probably an expression that does not signal friendliness to people around me. Then I recalled an advice I had given to someone previously about turning out request and being able to say "no".
Often, I do find myself agreeing to do things for people in line to proper courtesy. However, there are times where refusing a certain demand can mutually benefit both parties. The other side may not be in favour of the rejection, but by saying no, it is the simplest solution available when things do not seem favourable to oneself. I believe that fighting for your own right and standing up for yourself is the more charitable deed. Besides, doing so will challenge the other to solve thier own problems. Emotional sympathy may affect our decision, but it is best if we are able to accept or reject in accordance with our rationality. We all know the word; however, building up the courage to say it can be tough.
While being a nice person doesn't always pay off, I would like to pay tribute by giving my utmost admiration and respesct for those that has done so. A thought came into mind about a song involving moutain & courage to sum everything up; however, my plan seem to go astray as I was unable to recall the title of the respective song. Thus, I had to revoke my purpose and end my post with something which is less compelling.
"Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.", Clare Booth Luce.
Crispy Creme Chris~
Krispy Kreme Khris~ =P
Monday, May 18, 2009
He says, She says
Ok, I'll try my best not to talk about relationship between boyfriend or girlfriend since cute carrot Chris *oops, did i just indirectly mention how the cute carrot came from? haha* claims that my previous stories were about relationship.
Have you heard about " Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Gender differences in Communication". How does language affect our interaction with other genders? Well, language is the basis of all interaction and integral part of our society; it uses a series of systems to convey meaning, thus setting up a discourse community. The surrounding environment plays a major role in our language as a social practice. Language is a form of communication involving an organized system of symbols whether written, spoken or pictures. Language is purposeful, built on shared conventions, shaped by the context and constitutes texts of various sorts and "…language is the source of human life and power". Language is used to achieve a variety of social purposes. For example, we use it to entertain, to explain how some thing works, to provide information. We also use language to make sense of the world, to express ideas on a range of topics and to interact with various audiences. People need to be able to communicate confidently and appropriately with people of all walks of life: with those who are older or younger and with those in positions of power.
Talking is a part of our physical needs. Even Wade, one of the characters in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, said that he never kept his mouth shut while he is awake. *my friend and i could not stop laughing with it in the cinema*. However, the way of communicate through language are different between men and women.
I'm sure everyone knows that men and women speak differently. The styles of men and women has been describe as " report vs rapport" or " competitive vs cooperative". For men, speaking is a way to negotiate their status in a group and preserve their independent. On the other hand, women speak to keep their friends close and intimacy, talk is a essence of intimacy, so being close friends mean sit down and talk. Personally, I did that quite a lot in high school. I even walked to the next classes and started to talk crap with my friends to kill time when teachers were not around, finished revision studies or after a long chat with my own classmates.
Have you ever take a step back and look around when men and women talk at the same time? Classic example, dining time with your parents. Your mother will probably keep on nagging about everything like what has she been through lately, housework, children and family stuff and father cannot figure out why his woman continually talk, talk and talking. Poor thing for men.
Women love to have "troubles talk" with everyone for the purpose of sharing their trouble in life with everyone because they think this is a way to keep others close to them, sharing is caring. During the troubles talk, men normally will just keep quiet and make women think that men are trying to cut them out of their life. As for men, they do not talk much about their troubles unless they really need advise because talking about their troubles is wallowing them. One common question from men, why women always complaint? Well, they never realized that women are just trying to let men be in their life, inviting them and share with them. What an interesting way for women to let men know that they needs support from men.
Both sexes need to understand their inherent differences of speaking so that they do not expect the impossible. Women should learn how to communicate with different genders and what kind of topics remain to specific gender only and men need to understand what women are talking about, women are not just talking to talk. Sometimes men should should their problems with women, through sharing is a way of showing women that men are not pushing them away.
Perhaps, if men stop expecting women to communicate like men and women stopped trying to make men communicate like women. Life will be so wonderful!
Have you heard about " Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Gender differences in Communication". How does language affect our interaction with other genders? Well, language is the basis of all interaction and integral part of our society; it uses a series of systems to convey meaning, thus setting up a discourse community. The surrounding environment plays a major role in our language as a social practice. Language is a form of communication involving an organized system of symbols whether written, spoken or pictures. Language is purposeful, built on shared conventions, shaped by the context and constitutes texts of various sorts and "…language is the source of human life and power". Language is used to achieve a variety of social purposes. For example, we use it to entertain, to explain how some thing works, to provide information. We also use language to make sense of the world, to express ideas on a range of topics and to interact with various audiences. People need to be able to communicate confidently and appropriately with people of all walks of life: with those who are older or younger and with those in positions of power.
Talking is a part of our physical needs. Even Wade, one of the characters in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, said that he never kept his mouth shut while he is awake. *my friend and i could not stop laughing with it in the cinema*. However, the way of communicate through language are different between men and women.
I'm sure everyone knows that men and women speak differently. The styles of men and women has been describe as " report vs rapport" or " competitive vs cooperative". For men, speaking is a way to negotiate their status in a group and preserve their independent. On the other hand, women speak to keep their friends close and intimacy, talk is a essence of intimacy, so being close friends mean sit down and talk. Personally, I did that quite a lot in high school. I even walked to the next classes and started to talk crap with my friends to kill time when teachers were not around, finished revision studies or after a long chat with my own classmates.
Have you ever take a step back and look around when men and women talk at the same time? Classic example, dining time with your parents. Your mother will probably keep on nagging about everything like what has she been through lately, housework, children and family stuff and father cannot figure out why his woman continually talk, talk and talking. Poor thing for men.
Women love to have "troubles talk" with everyone for the purpose of sharing their trouble in life with everyone because they think this is a way to keep others close to them, sharing is caring. During the troubles talk, men normally will just keep quiet and make women think that men are trying to cut them out of their life. As for men, they do not talk much about their troubles unless they really need advise because talking about their troubles is wallowing them. One common question from men, why women always complaint? Well, they never realized that women are just trying to let men be in their life, inviting them and share with them. What an interesting way for women to let men know that they needs support from men.
Both sexes need to understand their inherent differences of speaking so that they do not expect the impossible. Women should learn how to communicate with different genders and what kind of topics remain to specific gender only and men need to understand what women are talking about, women are not just talking to talk. Sometimes men should should their problems with women, through sharing is a way of showing women that men are not pushing them away.
Perhaps, if men stop expecting women to communicate like men and women stopped trying to make men communicate like women. Life will be so wonderful!
© the vanilla villain Vivian
DJ on silence: Flowers and Kisses
I love you mom, but Aucktoritates Aristatelis would have shot me down if he were alive with his quote that says “Parents love their children more than children love their parents.” Take a time out! Give me a break, will you? It’s mother’s day……
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
I hit the clock when it struck 6 in the morning. Half asleep and half awake, I clothed myself like a drunken dude. I’m going to hit the market today. My dad and brother just couldn’t let me have all the fun. The 3 of us gaily made our way to the market. Fresh clams, prawns, fish, vegetables, you name it! We’re doing something special for moms tonight.
Her morning started out on a casual note. There were no big hugs, no rich and fattening food to greet her on her bed. Dad, brother and I are all out, sister’s busy making a card in her room. Mom probably thinks that she’s still sleeping like a log like she always do. No one was to be seen. Well, there was no verbal communication that supposedly delighted morning. What a way to start mother’s day, poor mom…..
Well, if you say that there were no communications at all, I think you might want to rephrase your thinking. Indirectly, no matter how silent it is, we’re all performing non- verbal action that indicates otherwise. The trouble to wake up that early, the effort to make a card, the effort to make a trip down town to get a cake, is all acts of love. The message? “Mom, just wait.”
I think that sometimes, action does in a way replace speech in communication. For example, when a boy tries his best to talk to a girl, he’s trying to say “Hey, I'm interested in you. I want to know you more.” And hopefully that one fine day he could be more than friends with that particular girl. Or put it another way, when a motorist on the road shows you his fantastically short finger, he trying to say “You ‘smart’ boy! Pick your own lane!”. Does it make any sense to you now?
At 5pm, dinner preparation began. Sauces, vermicelli, seafood and all the ingredients were being meshed, mixed, boiled, and even grilled. All you can her is just sound of utensils hitting on each other, desperate chefs trying to meet each other’s deadline, and you can even smell aroma steaming out of the kitchen. Come to think of it, these elements are also part and parcel of communication. The message? “Mom, I’m preparing a special dinner for you. It’s from the bottom of my heart.”
During dinner time, mom couldn’t help but to express how happy she was. What did we do in return? Just smile…..and eat, of course. The message? “You’re welcome mom, it’s just a small dot compared to what you’ve been doing all these while.”
Just before I hit the hay sack and bid my grandma moon goodnight, I slipped into the master’s bedroom. With a Chopin’s piano playing at the background, I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her face. 3 words is all I said the whole day (at least to her), that is “Night night mom!” With that, I left the room.
The message? There’s only one perception and frequency that everyone could agree on. And it is crystal clear, that is “I love you, mom!”
Live online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
Sunday, May 17, 2009
DJ on life: Ah Keong~
"To err is to be human, to forgive is divine" If that were true, I think I just experienced humanity and divinity, both together at the same time.
If you think that just because you’re e paying RM12200 for each subject you enrolled, you’ll get knowledge? No doubt you will. Academically, it’s a big “Yes”. Life wise? I don’t think so. I think we could agree that there’ll come a time where academic knowledge is pointless in life, and that life lesson is more valuable. Reason? It’s simply because life lesson is obtained through many years of experience. It could be 30 years, 40 years…who knows?
Still skeptical? Put it this way, “By studying, I may loose to you, but to survive and being successful in this world? I guarantee you I’m no lower than you.” Think about this phrase and relate to what I said earlier. Does it make any sense to you? If life lesion were to be more valuable than academic lesson, I think I just got lucky. Why? It’s because I learnt this lesson off the class, through a hawker, someone who’s always being regarded as uneducated. But mind you, these people are just as educated as any of us is. Papers are just decorations on a visa when it comes to the real world. Veterans will strongly agree on this point. The thought of hawker are uneducated people is just purely human perception without any solid and concrete evidence.
It’s 16th of May, and I’m in charge of food and beverages in this college event, known as C2AGE. Well, I managed to convinced them to turn up for the event. Am competent in communicating? I have just proven myself. All things are well, at least for now…..
To cut long story short, this hawker was placed a bit far from the event venue. To be frank, I t wasn’t a fair game for him because there were more stalls inside the venue. Put it this way, the crowd was never near him at all.
Working non-stop for more than 24 hours, exhausted and tired, he was already loosing his temper with much flowered language, of course. What more? He has zero sales and it’s been 4 hours since he has been here. After trying 13 times to call me but greeted by failure because I was busy doing emcee, he just wanted to quit, pack up and hit the hay sack. But somehow, he stayed. Bare in mind that he’s already superbly pissed. Any passerby would probably sympathize and perceive that he’s being unreasonable. On the other hand, I really empathize his position and I think he has every rights to be reasonable. And for him to stay on with these conditions was just a miracle.
It’s 5, the event is about to end, still very little sales, not to mention profit. A call came, it was the pissed hawker. However reluctant to meet him, I went anyway. I didn’t wanted to meet him is because it just the same as walking in to a lion’s den.
It started off very coldly, not to mention that it was also raining. Knowing that more communication doesn’t always solve any problem ( at least in this case), I kept quiet. The wisest thing for me to do now is just listening. Trust me, it was way harder than I expected.
Expecting him to give me a big tight slap on the face and leave, he gave me a lecture instead. He started to tell me how things should be done, angrily of course. Well, put it this way, he’s giving me another chance, and all he’s asking is just to make enough money to patch up his petrol fee, a rather simple request. At this point, I knew that action speaks louder than words, and it’s a now or never situation.
Well, I gave him what he wanted, or should I say what he needed. I took the whole organizing committee out to his stall, and he was more than happy to see a stream of black t-shirts walking towards his stall. I saw the ticket, I took it, and I ran into the train.
On that “train”, I wondered why he didn’t pack up and leave when he had the chance. I had that mind blogging question in mind, and it was soon answered when he and I had a small chat while I was eating at this stall.
I guess I have a theory to propose, or rather a perception at this point of time, that is “All strangers can and always can communicate, as long as they have empathy towards each other.” He stayed because he knew that I was still young and I lost because of experience deficiency, and he knew that to blame me for his poor sale was just too poor of him. He stayed because he wanted to give me another chance, and that he looked at the bigger picture and he knew my position very well. On the other hand, I knew about his position and I simply acted upon it.
In the end, with each other’s phone number in each other’s phone, contented, we parted ways waving to each other. At that very second I knew that I could make an angry terrorist to my new good friend. I experienced the humanity side of him, that is anger and disappointment. What about the divine part of him? Well, he was just too God-like to skip the details and teach me new tricks for life.
That is what I call divinity!
LIve online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
If you think that just because you’re e paying RM12200 for each subject you enrolled, you’ll get knowledge? No doubt you will. Academically, it’s a big “Yes”. Life wise? I don’t think so. I think we could agree that there’ll come a time where academic knowledge is pointless in life, and that life lesson is more valuable. Reason? It’s simply because life lesson is obtained through many years of experience. It could be 30 years, 40 years…who knows?
Still skeptical? Put it this way, “By studying, I may loose to you, but to survive and being successful in this world? I guarantee you I’m no lower than you.” Think about this phrase and relate to what I said earlier. Does it make any sense to you? If life lesion were to be more valuable than academic lesson, I think I just got lucky. Why? It’s because I learnt this lesson off the class, through a hawker, someone who’s always being regarded as uneducated. But mind you, these people are just as educated as any of us is. Papers are just decorations on a visa when it comes to the real world. Veterans will strongly agree on this point. The thought of hawker are uneducated people is just purely human perception without any solid and concrete evidence.
It’s 16th of May, and I’m in charge of food and beverages in this college event, known as C2AGE. Well, I managed to convinced them to turn up for the event. Am competent in communicating? I have just proven myself. All things are well, at least for now…..
To cut long story short, this hawker was placed a bit far from the event venue. To be frank, I t wasn’t a fair game for him because there were more stalls inside the venue. Put it this way, the crowd was never near him at all.
Working non-stop for more than 24 hours, exhausted and tired, he was already loosing his temper with much flowered language, of course. What more? He has zero sales and it’s been 4 hours since he has been here. After trying 13 times to call me but greeted by failure because I was busy doing emcee, he just wanted to quit, pack up and hit the hay sack. But somehow, he stayed. Bare in mind that he’s already superbly pissed. Any passerby would probably sympathize and perceive that he’s being unreasonable. On the other hand, I really empathize his position and I think he has every rights to be reasonable. And for him to stay on with these conditions was just a miracle.
It’s 5, the event is about to end, still very little sales, not to mention profit. A call came, it was the pissed hawker. However reluctant to meet him, I went anyway. I didn’t wanted to meet him is because it just the same as walking in to a lion’s den.
It started off very coldly, not to mention that it was also raining. Knowing that more communication doesn’t always solve any problem ( at least in this case), I kept quiet. The wisest thing for me to do now is just listening. Trust me, it was way harder than I expected.
Expecting him to give me a big tight slap on the face and leave, he gave me a lecture instead. He started to tell me how things should be done, angrily of course. Well, put it this way, he’s giving me another chance, and all he’s asking is just to make enough money to patch up his petrol fee, a rather simple request. At this point, I knew that action speaks louder than words, and it’s a now or never situation.
Well, I gave him what he wanted, or should I say what he needed. I took the whole organizing committee out to his stall, and he was more than happy to see a stream of black t-shirts walking towards his stall. I saw the ticket, I took it, and I ran into the train.
On that “train”, I wondered why he didn’t pack up and leave when he had the chance. I had that mind blogging question in mind, and it was soon answered when he and I had a small chat while I was eating at this stall.
I guess I have a theory to propose, or rather a perception at this point of time, that is “All strangers can and always can communicate, as long as they have empathy towards each other.” He stayed because he knew that I was still young and I lost because of experience deficiency, and he knew that to blame me for his poor sale was just too poor of him. He stayed because he wanted to give me another chance, and that he looked at the bigger picture and he knew my position very well. On the other hand, I knew about his position and I simply acted upon it.
In the end, with each other’s phone number in each other’s phone, contented, we parted ways waving to each other. At that very second I knew that I could make an angry terrorist to my new good friend. I experienced the humanity side of him, that is anger and disappointment. What about the divine part of him? Well, he was just too God-like to skip the details and teach me new tricks for life.
That is what I call divinity!
LIve online,
-DJ Damian Thomas Khaw-
It's all about you
Unexpecting anything other than the ordinary for the day, I was refreshed to uncover an acquisition of mine while in search of my misplaced academic documents. It was a book, that has been aging along with me since my schooling days. With a dust-covered surface, I took a quick attempt to scan through the contents. Fascinated, I had the book consume the rest of my evening. Night falls and a few phone texts broke my solitude. Unable to retain focus, I left the book as it was formerly.
With nought in mind, I visited the blog to inspect on new updates. Feeling unsurprised, Ms.Vanilla was once again second to none in her post. Seeing so, I was encouraged to follow up the post. An inspiration was also given by Poly; however, I had to reserve my slot as I was too far behind to chase silver.
Life will always have its ups and downs. From a box of chocolates to a bed of roses; those are the metaphors. The good times are even more fun when you are with people you enjoy. And the bad ones are easier to handle when you can turn to others for support and encouragement. *A dedication to my companions (:*
While making a difference for others is one of the most satisfying ways to feel like your time is worthwhile, positive intentions alone are not enough. As some might say "Its the thought that counts", I personally would like to contradict and disagree with such description. To me, it is your action that really counts! Communication is essential, but being able to walk the talk serves a higher priority.
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
With nought in mind, I visited the blog to inspect on new updates. Feeling unsurprised, Ms.Vanilla was once again second to none in her post. Seeing so, I was encouraged to follow up the post. An inspiration was also given by Poly; however, I had to reserve my slot as I was too far behind to chase silver.
Life will always have its ups and downs. From a box of chocolates to a bed of roses; those are the metaphors. The good times are even more fun when you are with people you enjoy. And the bad ones are easier to handle when you can turn to others for support and encouragement. *A dedication to my companions (:*
While making a difference for others is one of the most satisfying ways to feel like your time is worthwhile, positive intentions alone are not enough. As some might say "Its the thought that counts", I personally would like to contradict and disagree with such description. To me, it is your action that really counts! Communication is essential, but being able to walk the talk serves a higher priority.
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
Saturday, May 16, 2009
A Lesson to be Learned
Story begins here ....
THURSDAY, 14/05/2009
As usual after class ended, I went through my daily routine again in order to get back home. The crowd in the train was as usual and I didn't manage to get a seat. The train's door closed and i ended up standing just beside the door. It was sudden silent in the train and nothing looks different that day. The train passed by few stations, door opens, people enter and leave the train.
When the announcement system sounded "Stesen berikutnya, Pasar Seni", just happened that I was looking at the train's door. Crowd rushes in and i spotted a familiar face among the crowd. I thinked hardly trying to recall who is he. Second passes by, images flashing through my mind and I finally manage to remember who is he. There and then my anger and emotions rushes out! Now i realize how Empathy and Sympathy can affect out judgement.
>Now let me explain here. The "familiar guy" he is actually a man that i met before at "the" LRT station near KLCC. Few weeks ago during our sem break, I went out with my friend. That evening we ended our shopping day and were heading back. Me and my friend were talking while we were walking. Suddenly a man approached us.
He is around the age of 40, tall, thin, bald (wearing a cap), casually dressed, carrying a bag pack and was holding a map. He started the conversation in chinese and asked us for help. He told us that he is a Singaporean and came to KL to attend a motivation camp. Unfortunately, someone has stollen his wallet and his passport. Now, he got nothing left excpet few Singpr. Syiling. He told us that he need to get to KL Central to meet his brother who will be coming from Singapore over here to help him.
After hearing him saying what he had gone through, we felt pity for him and sympathy falls in. So we decided to buy him a ticket. After that we handed over the ticket and he followed us down to the LRT plattform. Now he started to complain that he is too thirsty and can we give him some money to buy a bottle of water to drink? Well at that moment I was wondering that this guy is starting to demand a lot and wanted to get more money from us. But finally we also gave him a sufficient amount of money to buy a drink. He sincerely said thanks for our help and rushes in the LRT.
That night itself, I told my parents about what had happened. Surprisingly instead of nagging at me they laughed at me badly. They told me that we were cheated and many similar cases had actually taken place there. But I tried to explain to them that guy's expression looks really real and pity. Well if we were cheated by him, we only lost our sympathy and a small amount of money, which is only $1.80 from each of us. But if he is a tourist who desperately needs help, then at least we had done our best to help him out and hoping that he had a good impression of Malaysia.
Sunday, 17/05/2009
Well, meeting him at the LRT that day really did give me a big shock. I felt like walking to him and ask him "Shouldn't you be in Singapore now? Instead of appearing here with the same outfit and pity look?!" However, I didn't do so because I was afraid that he will beat me there and then in the train == But I think that day he did recognise me thats why he don't even dare to look up and look at me while we were in the train.
Now, I am here to share my experience hoping that it teaches everyone a lesson-Not to trust anyone easily. And no matter what situation you are in, please do differentiate sympathy and empathy. Kindly remember that don't let ur emotions take control of your mind or else it will lead to wrong decision making and ended up like me @@
POOR POlY :(
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
THURSDAY, 14/05/2009
As usual after class ended, I went through my daily routine again in order to get back home. The crowd in the train was as usual and I didn't manage to get a seat. The train's door closed and i ended up standing just beside the door. It was sudden silent in the train and nothing looks different that day. The train passed by few stations, door opens, people enter and leave the train.
When the announcement system sounded "Stesen berikutnya, Pasar Seni", just happened that I was looking at the train's door. Crowd rushes in and i spotted a familiar face among the crowd. I thinked hardly trying to recall who is he. Second passes by, images flashing through my mind and I finally manage to remember who is he. There and then my anger and emotions rushes out! Now i realize how Empathy and Sympathy can affect out judgement.
>Now let me explain here. The "familiar guy" he is actually a man that i met before at "the" LRT station near KLCC. Few weeks ago during our sem break, I went out with my friend. That evening we ended our shopping day and were heading back. Me and my friend were talking while we were walking. Suddenly a man approached us.
He is around the age of 40, tall, thin, bald (wearing a cap), casually dressed, carrying a bag pack and was holding a map. He started the conversation in chinese and asked us for help. He told us that he is a Singaporean and came to KL to attend a motivation camp. Unfortunately, someone has stollen his wallet and his passport. Now, he got nothing left excpet few Singpr. Syiling. He told us that he need to get to KL Central to meet his brother who will be coming from Singapore over here to help him.
After hearing him saying what he had gone through, we felt pity for him and sympathy falls in. So we decided to buy him a ticket. After that we handed over the ticket and he followed us down to the LRT plattform. Now he started to complain that he is too thirsty and can we give him some money to buy a bottle of water to drink? Well at that moment I was wondering that this guy is starting to demand a lot and wanted to get more money from us. But finally we also gave him a sufficient amount of money to buy a drink. He sincerely said thanks for our help and rushes in the LRT.
That night itself, I told my parents about what had happened. Surprisingly instead of nagging at me they laughed at me badly. They told me that we were cheated and many similar cases had actually taken place there. But I tried to explain to them that guy's expression looks really real and pity. Well if we were cheated by him, we only lost our sympathy and a small amount of money, which is only $1.80 from each of us. But if he is a tourist who desperately needs help, then at least we had done our best to help him out and hoping that he had a good impression of Malaysia.
Sunday, 17/05/2009
Well, meeting him at the LRT that day really did give me a big shock. I felt like walking to him and ask him "Shouldn't you be in Singapore now? Instead of appearing here with the same outfit and pity look?!" However, I didn't do so because I was afraid that he will beat me there and then in the train == But I think that day he did recognise me thats why he don't even dare to look up and look at me while we were in the train.
Now, I am here to share my experience hoping that it teaches everyone a lesson-Not to trust anyone easily. And no matter what situation you are in, please do differentiate sympathy and empathy. Kindly remember that don't let ur emotions take control of your mind or else it will lead to wrong decision making and ended up like me @@
POOR POlY :(
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
Blind
Last week, my friends and I had a random talk about people's attitude nowadays when they are in a relationship especially how possessive can some be in a relationship. What do I mean about possessive? It means demanding total attention of love or not wanting the other one be independent.
It is true to say that different people have different perception like the way we notice things especially we notice things with our senses. So what do I consider as being possessive?
- Does your boyfriend/girlfriend distrust you?
- Do you often reject invitations from friends just because you are 'afraid' your boyfriend/girlfriend will get angry?
- Does your boyfriend/girlfriend specifies a certain curfew for you? (and makes sure you comply)?
- Does your boyfriend/girlfriend often accuse you of being unfaithful when he sees you hanging out with the opposite sex?
Ok, back to the topic, perception. What do you think or any idea in your mind about this couple after hearing this story? As for my friends, they think that Aaron is being crazy, over jealously, even worst, a control freak. There is not wrong that eveyone thinks Aaron is over react to Julia but have everyone wonder what is the one makes Aaron act in this way or everyone just judge him through his action? Of course, there are reasons to explain his action like maybe is due to his past experience? What meaning have similar events held? He has been through with the a-year-break-for-each-other and of course he does not want thing happens in that way again. However, with our perception, some do not think that way. Don't you think is unfair for him if we just jump to the conclusion with our own perception? It is undeniable that we are easily influenced by what is most obvious especially what we see with our eyes. As for me, I think we should take time to know that person instead of cling to the first impression, even if is wrong. Take it in the other way round, what if people have a wrong concept about you? How would you feel? You are trying your best to make a change what you are in their heart but they still stick with the first impression? I am sure this sounds unfair for you. Same things goes to others, we should take time to know them instead of having perceptual errors on others that can lead to troublesome communication in the future.
So from now on, we should give everyone a change to know them without strongly holding our perception.
© the vanilla villain Vivian
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
POLY Speaking
"Communication is Not Simple" I agree unequivocally with this sayings. Well if you were to ask me how I found human communication is? This will be my answer to you. Perhaps this will be the most perfect phrase n conclusion that comes into my mind after attending few classes for this subject.
I can clearly remember that in our first class for human com, the first question that Mr.Murali (our human com lecturer) ask us was "What you think Human Com is?" and "What you expect to learn from this subject?". Well, frankly speaking, I really have no idea what human com is about at the beginning. But from the name of this subject, I can tell that it must be something to do with communication between human being. However, I don't think this is a convincing answer ==
"Communication refers to the process of human beings responding to the symbolic behavior of other persons. It is a continuous and ongoing process." I think this will be the best interpretation for the phrase, communication. Just simply because I got this from the text book. Wakaka ^^
Well as this is just the beginning of the semester, there are many friends that come by and ask me what are my electives. And when i said that human com is one of my electives, the first respond they will give me is always the same, which is "How come ar?!" Perhaps everyone will have the perception that communication need not to be trained and courses regarding this is unnecessary. Moreover, they will think that a good communicators can be born naturally with the intelligence and it is easy to achieve the goal as a good communicators. Well, I would calssify this perceptions as "Misconception of Communication".
However after being exposed to this subject, I learnt that communication among people are fundamental. We need to know the right way to communicate and to deliver our message to others in order to avoid misunderstanding and conflicts in communication. And kindly believe me, there are much more knowledge to be learnt beneath communication. You would never know that this subject can be such interesting and such useful to be applied in our daily life, unless you have gone through this 3 and 1/2 month course, costing $1400, which is really valuable and worthful.
Hmm, well thats all I have for my very first post in this blog. Hopefully it is informative enough and had provide everyone with some knowledge about what human communication actually is. I will be back soon by this week again for my second post. Take care and good luck to everyone ^^
P/s: To all of my friends that have misconception of communication, I would like to say that "Lets make a deal! I can promise you that by the end of this semester, I will give you a FOC private lecture session and I will definitely change your point of view about communication!" By that time, kindly address me as Miss Poly. Your private human communication home tutor. Haha ^^
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
I can clearly remember that in our first class for human com, the first question that Mr.Murali (our human com lecturer) ask us was "What you think Human Com is?" and "What you expect to learn from this subject?". Well, frankly speaking, I really have no idea what human com is about at the beginning. But from the name of this subject, I can tell that it must be something to do with communication between human being. However, I don't think this is a convincing answer ==
"Communication refers to the process of human beings responding to the symbolic behavior of other persons. It is a continuous and ongoing process." I think this will be the best interpretation for the phrase, communication. Just simply because I got this from the text book. Wakaka ^^
Well as this is just the beginning of the semester, there are many friends that come by and ask me what are my electives. And when i said that human com is one of my electives, the first respond they will give me is always the same, which is "How come ar?!" Perhaps everyone will have the perception that communication need not to be trained and courses regarding this is unnecessary. Moreover, they will think that a good communicators can be born naturally with the intelligence and it is easy to achieve the goal as a good communicators. Well, I would calssify this perceptions as "Misconception of Communication".
However after being exposed to this subject, I learnt that communication among people are fundamental. We need to know the right way to communicate and to deliver our message to others in order to avoid misunderstanding and conflicts in communication. And kindly believe me, there are much more knowledge to be learnt beneath communication. You would never know that this subject can be such interesting and such useful to be applied in our daily life, unless you have gone through this 3 and 1/2 month course, costing $1400, which is really valuable and worthful.
Hmm, well thats all I have for my very first post in this blog. Hopefully it is informative enough and had provide everyone with some knowledge about what human communication actually is. I will be back soon by this week again for my second post. Take care and good luck to everyone ^^
P/s: To all of my friends that have misconception of communication, I would like to say that "Lets make a deal! I can promise you that by the end of this semester, I will give you a FOC private lecture session and I will definitely change your point of view about communication!" By that time, kindly address me as Miss Poly. Your private human communication home tutor. Haha ^^
cdv*p* - *pOLy* LiAn
A new begining...
My very first post on this blog!Cheers to our lecturer Mr.Murali and to my fellow group members*as shown in the pic*
Before I begin I would like to take the time to put forth that any post made is to further enchance the learning process and is uninteded to offend anyone in any way, now or in future.
Thinking to myself regarding what could be interesting enough to be put up as a first post, I embark on journey of mind that brings me to the past and present. As I see myself in previous experiences and actions, I sense a slight feeling of dissapointment there. Yes, there are things which I shouldn't said or wish I had the chance to say. Yes, there are things which I shouln't or should have done. Being reminded by myself as this being the problem people have in common, I felt a brief moment of relief as this makes me indifferent and as human as others; or at least I would like to believe so. Then, I recalled a phrase or perhaps a caution that a friend has told me not too long ago. It goes something like "You cannot take back words that you have said. Even if u decided to do so, damaging words will remain inside a person as a scar which will be long lasting if not forever". The lines weren't the identical one that was expressed as my memory only retains a partial part of the speech. I know the exact meaning that lies behind those lines even when I heard it for the first time. It is a warning to be careful with my words as they may lead to regrettable outcomes. The voice is still clear in my head as I sat down and think about it once again. There are things which can't be undone. Knowing that, those are the things that sleep deep within me and its awakening every once in a while still continues to haunt me.
Have the hunter actually became the hunted? :O
Being snapped back to reality, I remembered what our topic of discussion was this morning in Human Communication class. Perception was the topic and it revolves around underlying assumptions made by people. As much interest I have over this topic, I tried very hard to maintain attention over the period of an hour and a half due to a headache.
Being assigned randomly into groups by our lecturer, it is fate that has brought about the four of us together. Still unfamiliar with the chosen individuals, I look foreward into enjoying the company of my new companions. Besides, the way I perceive them will certainly not fail my judgement. We have... *drums roll*
Damian the friendly and perhaps understanding one. Also the loudest amongst all. Good leader & team player :)
Polly the happy one that takes the bus!*See ya at the bus-stop sometimes*. Also with a wicked sense of colouring :3
Vivian the pretty one who likes latte. Also I'm sure there will be more then just what meets the eye ;)
So it is true the best things in life are free!(Hey wait, I think i paid RM 1,200 for this class)
Checking my watch, the short hand points at 1 while the longer one showing 10. I guess its not my nature to leave things half way. I suppose my post ends here.
Cute Carrot Chris~
Kute Karrot Khris~
Monday, May 11, 2009
The closest can share, with communication
People start looking for a relationship from the age of 17 . In order to make a commitment for a relationship, it takes trust between two people. It obviously shows that we need basic interaction that called as Dyadic Communication.
Dyadic communication plays an important role in a relationship. It is the key for each other to open the door in our heart. Without it, the door in our heart will be reminded close and one hardly get the chance to open the door no matter how many times he tries. It is much more easier just talk, listen and be understanding to the one you like. It is not easy to be done through communication because it can cause problems like misunderstanding as well. However, things can be solved if we listen to them sincerely and eventually the door will open with love to welcome us. A bad communication will only lead us to a bad memories between each other and being regretful for the rest of our life.
Communication only can work well when both respect each other. For example, if one thinks that she is being attacked by the word coming out from the other and is hurting her, she will automatically close the door in her heart. It is important for us to have a good communication so that other will open the door and gain the trust between each other.
Sometimes we are afraid of the past will threaten the current relationship like the girlfriend meets her ex-boyfriend, it is normal to feel that way. We all have our past, it happened in the past. This is the time where two people need to communicate and make each other understand the situation. Keep on talking the past relationship will only cause trouble for the current relationship, we should leave it behind. With the honest talk , couple will trust each other and make the relationship work even better.
Lastly, a good strong relationship needs a good communication. The door in everyone's heart will open if we communicate well with them.
© the vanilla villain Vivian
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Testing post
My 2nd visit on the blog, just stop by to say gud job all :)..
<3 the colours and the headers!
Cya guys in coll ;)
-long live banana-cutecarrot blogspot...etc...~~~~
<3 the colours and the headers!
Cya guys in coll ;)
-long live banana-cutecarrot blogspot...etc...~~~~
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Human Communication
This blog is designed to introduce public to Human Communication at college level.
We come in peace, i think...
Communication is action.
With action comes response.
Response initiate emotion.
Emotion to relation.
Relation depends on perception.......
Peace ^^v
-DJ Damian
We come in peace, i think...
Communication is action.
With action comes response.
Response initiate emotion.
Emotion to relation.
Relation depends on perception.......
Peace ^^v
-DJ Damian
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