DJ on Honesty:~The longest Walk

80, 95, 78… it was the 1st semester of 5th Form examination as I could recall. Everybody was delighted to receive their Additional Mathematics results, while I on the other hand was on the opposite side of the river. Well, guess what? I was the last to receive. In fact, Mrs. Tay didn’t call out my name at all! Chiti-chiti Bang Bang! As I expected, she wanted to have a private chat with me. As I recalled, her tone was more than of a concerned and upset one than an angry one. The red ink on my paper showed 20….

The fact is, I will be facing my add math tuition teacher that very same afternoon, whom my parents have work so hard to pay her fees. The point is, it is definitely not pleasing at all for her to know that I’ve been doing so badly all these while, and what more; I’ll be sitting for my SPM examination in a few months time! In fact, it must be disappointing and frustrating for her to know that she failed to teach me well. That whole day in school, I had a dilemma on whether to tell her the truth and admit that I really needed help or not. She always thought that I did well in school. And the fact that she’s a strict teacher made me think quintuple more on whether to burst the balloon or not.

I truly agree that time and tide waits for not man. As much as I wanted to be straight and truthful to her, I just couldn’t. When class dismissed that afternoon, I was the 1st to leave the class. Don’t even think about my marks, she didn’t even have the chance to ask me. As soon as I got out of her house, I paddled as hard as I could.

It’s just 50 meters to my house when I decided to stop. I stood at the side of the street and started to think, and I thought hard. You see, as much as I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth, I couldn’t tell a lie either. I just couldn’t. It’s such a shameful secret that I’ve kept from her so long. I guess that the fact that I know she’s willing to spent extra time and effort to help me prompted me to do what is right. At that point of time, I knew what I had to do, and I realize the reason why I shied away from telling her the truth. It was simply because I was scared. I was just too afraid to see her angry and disappointed. The thought of this really demotivated me. But I told myself that if I can’t be truthful now, when am I going to learn to be truthful? How are people suppose to trust me if I do not start now?It was the hardest thing to do; it really isn’t, especially when it involves telling the right thing to the right person at the right time, and knowing that at that right moment, that right person will be less than happy. I didn’t know what gave me the courage, but all I remember was picking up my bike and the rest took place naturally.

I could still remember myself sitting on her bench in her garden, letting go of my tears. For how long was it, I couldn’t remember. I told her everything, about how I started to fail and how lightly I took it. She knew I was jus as disappointed as she is. I could still recall her saying: “Damian, you have made some mistakes, it’s still not too late to catch up. I’ll help you, ok? You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Don’t worry…” those were the exact words she told me. And that was the first time in 5 years I saw the soft side of her, it was very comforting and motivating.

Honesty is like a magic that amazes you in ways you can hardly imagine. The truth hurts, but it is a wound that heals well along with time, whereas a lie is a cancer that breaks out and never subsides. Frankness and directness is still the best approach the most difficult task. Ironic isn’t it? The hardest thing in the world is always the right thing to do. It should have been the other way around, but unfortunately in our world that we live in; it just doesn’t work that way. The world could be so much of a better place if only HONESTY were part of our NATURAL human communication.

What took place that day was a real turning point in my life. I learnt the hard way that I have to shame the devil and admit my weakness in order to be stronger. But that was only a small drop of what honesty can bring me. We always hear that honesty is the best policy. I might have loose my respect that day, but it certainly got me to the right place in the end. The best road to take isn’t always the smoothest road, nor is it the lousiest. You just have to search a little deep down your heart and grab it tightly as u take that road. You loose out in the poor construction of the road, but at the end of the road is what makes you stronger each time you travel it. You loose some, but you definitely gain some. And sometimes the reward is heftier than your effort. You will never loose out, never.

That evening, I could not be more than glad that I made the right choice to tell the truth. To some, this story is just another lame joke. But to me, it’s more than a turning point of my life; it was a turning point that drove me to elevate myself each day. It was a turning point that altered my attitude that made me who I am today, and still elevating.
Trotting down the road with my bicycle beside me, I took a slow walk back home. It was the longest but the happiest walk of my life, not because of any reason, it was simple because I found a very precious key to human communication that day, and I used it………….

DJ online,
DJ Damian Thomas Khaw