DJ on Storm:~it only takes 1 minute

As the saying goes, "a miss is as good as a mile." One could never predict the vast implication when a small mistake is made, be it through speech or even through action. Some lucky ones learn this lesson far away from conflict, while some just had to learn it the hard way.

Speech is a great blessing, but it can be a great curse, for while it helps to make our intention and desire known to our fellows, it can also, if we use it carelessly, make our attitude completely misunderstood.

A slip of the tongue is actually not a fault of the mind. In my opinion, a slip of a tounge, the use of an unusual word or of an ambiguous word may create an enemy when we can help to be a friend. Speking of speech, different classes of people use different vocabilaries and the ordinary speech of an educated person may strike an uneducated listener. Again, competency in communication is vital in avoiding misunderstanding. So speech is not really a gift to be used freely witout thought which demands careful thinking.

However, no matter how much a man wants to avoid conflict through speech, one could never assure that you wont encounter a bad experience of communication. This is especially true when an idea of yours is pieced in a way where it might sound offending to another party. And the implication? The reaction was never what you wil expect to see from that person, especially when that person has been nice to you before the conflict is initiated.

The key so dissolve conflict like this actually takes more than solving the issue there and then through means of meta communication. Yes, a few manage to sit through the talk, but how many of us are strong enought to do that? You see, a conflict only happens when a party is offended and a confrontation has taken place. And my point here is that people involved will definitely by emotional. When emotion takes the better of us, rational thinking is totally imbalance. Personally, I had a similar experience as this. And well, it was really hard to think rationally, especially when you're already emotionally involved.

What about the cure? We are familiar with the phrase "Time will heal on it's own". However, time is not the only ingredient to this malacious disease. Empathy and critical thinking is required as well. In an argument, I strongly believe that no one is totally right or wrong. Let's take an argument between a young teenager and an elder as an example. Perhaps, the idea that was suggested sounds reasonable to a young teenager, but it may sound offending to an elder.Well, I also believe that the elder must have his or her won reason to disagree with that young boy. But then again, emphaty from both parties must take place. The elder has to understand that the young boy is still inexperience and he's prone to make mistakes, while the young boy has to think from the elder's point of view. Either way, ego has to be humbled if emphaty has to take place. This is because any egoistic person will always think that he's totally right. And for him to emphatise the other party's view? That will have to wait till the day when pigs fly.

It takes only one minute to end waht seem to be a happy relationship. However, one minute is also what it takes for reconciliation with each other. One spells a longer and stronger bond, while the other will instantly disintegrate that bond.

So the next time you're in a conflict, pick a stand and work towards it. Either you save it, or you leacve it. What's your stand?

DJ online,
-Damian Thomas Khaw